Yowsa

<----- You think this is size is bad? It's going to be even bigger, and thrown up on a wall as they tell the "story" at the kidney thing. The good news is that my 9 other friends in the chain get to endure it too. :)
I'm going to say it RIGHT NOW- I never, ever ever ever EVER EVER, no matter how irritated I was, or have been...no matter how much tongue biting I have done in my life being married into a Catholic family- I NEVER should have opened my mouth to Cullen's parents. EVER.
His aunt, who I do love and who is very non judgmental, is still out to save me. I don't need saving, I don't want saving and I'm tired of talking about it with her. It's okay that we will never agree, and we won't.
I could look at it from the other side and say that maybe something I'm saying is sinking in and makes sense to her. Is it possible for someone who is Catholic to never question the insane rules placed upon them by a supposedly "loving" God?
Doesn't it make far more sense that we all win, no matter? that the person who doesn't believe in "god" (and you can't blame them!), but can bird watch for hours GETS IT? Or the person who believes that all humans deserve a chance, or that Love is all that matters..who CARES what they believe in or don't believe in?
Sounds like we'll be going on a walk.
I don't know when.
I didn't finish my story about Cullen and how he could be a little better support for me during times when there's some attention focused on me...it would be nice if I didn't get in "trouble" for not babysitting him. It's probably easy for me to say it, but if I am in a public situation with Cullen where we both don't know people, but it's "his" deal, I would make friends and let him go shine and do his thing and not be of a concern to him. He disliked it when we met the kidney chain. I was so overwhelmed and wanted to talk to everyone and I did not babysit him.
And I'm nervous about Sunday because we will be with the whole kidney chain, I have no idea how they are going to present the story, or how long of a speech I'll be doing, but I wish i didn't have to worry about making sure I'm by Cullen's side as much as possible. It's not that- I'm more worried that I'll be in trouble if he's left alone too long. I guess I shouldn't assume that it will be that way again, because everyone is capable of growth, and a discussion about expectations should really take care of it, right? Right. I'll work on that tonight.
Although tonight is a great excuse to not cook (again), I'm going to cook and make something KICK ASS. I don't know what yet. I have a ton of veggies and a ton of spices and I'm going to try something from my new cookbook.
I love spring mornings- I took all the window darkening things off in the bedroom so the light wakes me up first, with the birds. I swear a cardinal was on my bedroom window ledge, I almost flew out of bed when it first sang, it was so loud and right by my head. The sunrises are awesome, the windows open are awesome. Spring and fall really do rival one another.
Enjoy!