So, for your enjoyment, we'll do this through DDF, because that way you'll feel like you got to put me in my place a little bit, through him. And he never fails, don't worry.
DDF: HAH! Yeah, go on, tell them what you're "pondering". What happened? What did you cause now?
Me: Now look, you've got us stuck in caps. Right. I didn't thoroughly consider my actions yesterday, or the avenue that I used to do it. FFB. Which stands for Fucking Facebook if you didn't know.
DDF: Oh, go on...
Me: And now I have a friend request sitting there.
DDF: We can't call you names unless you share all those *lovely* thoughts in your head though, so spill it.
Me: I don't want to be friends with him.
DDF: Then don't. Ah, but if you were only that simple...
Me: I would completely conquer IT then, the big horrible IT that was my life from 16-19.
DDF: And someday if Cullen looks and sees JB is one of your friends, he says *what*?
Me: that's the irritating part, truly. BUT how stupid would I sound saying "I didn't really want to be his friend, but I accepted his request anyway."
DDF: It's clear as fucking day. Just don't friend him. AND since I know you so well, I'll just finish this off for you really quickly too- don't feel bad about it. Don't think twice about it.
Isn't that lovely? I have the most rational voice in my head, but his rationale only really applies to ME. Not to HIM. But whatever, right? So I will just go hit NOT NOW on that request, and try really hard not to feel bad. It's not like I matter that much to him anyway. Surely he wasn't as affected by the whole horribly disgusting mess as I was, right? I'm the emotional girl?
I want to throw up. And I KNOW, DDF: It's not That Big of a deal. TO YOU. And it's only as big as I'm making it, right? Hit ignore and run. Done.
AMEN SISTA!!!!
ReplyDeleteIf DDF isn't blunt enough in my head, my sister is, she said "Didn't you invite this when you sent him a note? What kind of message did you think you were sending?" But do you know what? She can bite me. I'm free of him for the first time ever since before I knew him. Worth it. And saying no to him was just a chance to do what I should have done the first time around anyway. :) Thank you, R. XOXOXOXO and that's exactly how I feel. You did good! He can't hurt me, he can't have access to me, and it's staying that way.