Stupid Minnesota. This weather is going to be the death of me, I tell you. Or else I'll become a secret alcoholic via the bailey's in my coffee every morning. ;)
Speaking of alcoholic, I am so astounded, as usual by the amount of people ....not fair, but true....who think getting drunk is the best thing ever. AND THEN THEY DRIVE. What a crock of shit that is, how dare they threaten their families that way, and threaten the families of others while they are at it? I know someone who sat down and drank NINE BEERS and then left to go get ready to "go out".
Um, hello?
Is there anyone effing HOME???? In that head? In what world is that okay? OURS, PEOPLE! People do that shit ALL THE TIME. "Oh, I only had 3 or 4 beers, it's fine" and they drive home. Stupid idiots. Stupid world. Alcohol being legal is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
So last night I had a horrible dream. I was in an enormous mall (which is a nightmare in and of itself) and Cullen was with me, and then after awhile he wasn't. Different people I know were milling around, distracting me, and I couldn't effing FIND HIM anywhere. Then I'd see another face I knew, who would pay me no attention, thus pissing me off more because I HATE BEING IGNORED. It was horrible. Except for the babies, there were babies there that I got to hold. I woke up pissy.
Sometimes I get the feeling that people ...again, not fair, it's only ONE but certainly more, sometimes wait for me to "realize" that my dreams and the things I wish to and WILL accomplish "aren't realisitic". Cullen corrected me the first time I tried to explain the feeling and I said "She's waiting for me to fall on my face." He said she's too good of a friend to even WANT that for me, so my new version is that I sit here and pick out these things that I really, really wish to do (elephants, RV, homeschool, travel), and they are so *out there* and I'm such a happy go lucky it'll all work out person, that there are some people waiting in the wings for my dreams to quietly die a quick death because they just don't "fit" in the work every day 9-5 feed the family do homework go to baseball go to bed routine. I know at LEAST one person feels that way. It's okay. It really is- it makes me more determined to stay the course and not give up on the things I'm going to make happen. Maybe that's the point of everything? To make my darling friends who shake their head at my gall (ha! And you thought it was gone with my gall bladder!) see that everything IS actually possible when we get out of our own way? I'm not any more special or different than you, or you, or you, or you. We all have stories that can make someone cry. We've all hurt so deeply we were sure no one else has felt it. We've all soared so high that we almost touched heaven. I'm no different. I'm more human than most, probably. There's very little I can judge about anyone. So...there. Get ready. Book #2 will be done "soon" and pretty soon I'm going to have an RV sitting in my driveway and we'll drive to to drop me off to sleep with elephants, and we'll fall off the map as we travel for a year showing our babies the world and letting them play in God's big backyard.
Take THAT.
No comments:
Post a Comment