I'll keep as many unnecessary details out of this one as possible, but lest any of my darling, darling mommy friends make the same mistake I did by letting myself get a complex over something as silly as lingerie---read on.
So I went to Kohl's and thought the fail was going to happen there because I couldn't find one thing that didn't make me giggle. COME ON. PUHLEEZE....some of it is old lady lingerie, and some of it is Skankville. I found something really adorable in the middle but I was still skeptical. My darling breasts have nursed 4 children. I'm a happy 36C (I tried B's and I fall out of them completely), but these aren't the 36 C's that they were BEFORE having children. You follow? So out went all the things that have no support for the girls. I got something with support, and it was cute. But still, it was funny.
Cullen was in the shower, and normally Other Chuck (and his KID) show up Friday nights for a drink (while little Chuckie falls asleep on the couch) and to pay me. At like 9:30, 9:45ish. So Cullen was showering before they showed up, and i tried it on. And i couldn't stop giggling. Oh, sure, it looked fine, but I couldn't figure out the point of what I was doing anymore. So I wandered into the bathroom to show Cullen. He said "It's pretty, but why are you wearing it again?" I asked him if he didn't think it'd be fun to tear that off of me. He said "How is that any different than tearing anything else off of you, except there's less to tear?" I said wasn't sure either, but didn't he LIKE IT? He laughed at me, told me he's not quite sure what has gotten into me, suggested I get in the shower myself, and put on something comfy and cozy when I get out!
That goes against what I'm convinced All Men Are Like. All Men Want Skanky Women, don't they? Isn't that the point of all the porn and naked mags?
I got out of the shower, lotioned up with some yummy lotion, threw on my tank and super soft sweatshirt (after verifying that the Chucks were over), and my pink Twins yoga pants, combed out my curls, grabbed the big blankey for Cullen and I, and went out to visit with Cullen and the Chucks. And afterward......well, a happy, soft, snuggly wife is much more likely to want to be unwrapped and eaten up.
Lingerie, porn, skanky skanks ain't got nothin on me. :)
Lesson: Sure, there are probably some mom's out there (with 2 or more children) who want/need lingerie to feel sexy or pretty or they just like it, whatever. There are even more people out there (with no kids, most likely) who are all about it. Listen to me: If what you're doing right now is working perfectly well for you and whoever you are doing, DON'T BOTHER GETTING A COMPLEX OVER WHAT IS IMPORTANT TO OTHER PEOPLE!!! They don't know YOU, they don't know your relationship, and if they knew what went on behind closed doors (or the bathroom, or on the kitchen floor, wherever), they'd all probably hope to grow up to be like you. What is my problem? I have 4 kids and an awesome sex life. I wonder what I thought the point of lingerie was anyway, besides I haven't had any in a lonnnnnnngggg time. Turns out I haven't had any in a lonnnnggggg time because we simply do not need it.Silly me.
If, on the other hand, you are wanting sex more than the person you are with, and you're looking for ways to up the want on the other end, and you are a female, I have some really cute lingerie that wasn't worn for any sex at all, and the gstring it comes with didn't get worn at all (it did, however, get shot across the room for fun). It's yours for the taking, my gift to you. :)
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