There's one big one. I'm sure you're SLIGHTLY familiar with it, from reading my head.
The Drama.
If I were a man, I would be the most flamboyantly gay man you could imagine.
This is problematic to me in many, many ways- not that I'm a flamboyantly gay man on the inside but my tendency toward the dramatic. I'm a girl already, as IF I need to be even more dramatic.
Are you JUST POSITIVELY DYING to know what I'm being dramatic about right now? Fine. I'll tell you. But it's all drama. You've been warned, and then I'll just piss you off at the end by telling you that I am totally dragging my feet about doing anything about it.
The other night- last night? Night before? I had some for real owies around Lefty. Lefty is my problematic ovary. I think I stunned her into silence for a good year by getting her home base yanked, and then having a few more surgeries to keep her in a state of "WTF is going on!?" I think she's awake, and I think I'm paying for the silence.
Here's what I know: I've always been cystic, to the point of my parents requesting I stop going in to get them looked at when I was still on their insurance. I got familiar with how I feel when I have a cyst, and (gasp) what it feels like when they rupture. Some people freak out over that. People go to the hospital in extreme pain only to find out they had a cyst that ruptured. For me, I have sharp pain, and then I get ---- ready? DIZZY. Only usually it passes in hours.
So I assumed the other day that my cyst ruptured because of the pain, only I can feel both ovaries clearly today, I'm dizzy as fuck (and it's the most annoying thing ever) and if you look at any of the symptoms of a rupture, I have them. NO- not all of them. I'm minus the fever. I'm just very dizzy, very bloated, weak, for the love of goddess, my poor breasts hurt like when I was pregnant, sex hurts, I'm peeing more- these are all symptoms of cysts. DUH. I have one on each side, I tell you right now. I don't need a dr for that.I don't "just take" daycare off, and can we all agree I have a high pain tolerance to save me trying to convince you of it? It takes a lot to knock me on my ass.
I know, I know- go to the stupid ob and get it over with. But for what? To pay for an ultrasound to tell me what I already know?
And you may recall just a few posts ago, me saying something about being scared to do that. They've talked about yanking Lefty before and I feel a little bit sick to my stomach thinking about that. That scares me! I just don't know...I just don't know...
I just don't know....
I wouldn't drive right now anyway if that tells you how gross it feels to be this dizzy. My mother in law suggested an antihistimine, can't spell it, and I will try that- vertigo is usually an indication of something with the ears, an inner ear infection/fluid/whatever. I will try that and I will keep trying to ignore my ovaries for now.
See? Drama. I just want to feel better. NOW.
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