it's a very, very slow bounce, but it's coming.
There are a few things that are helping it.
Cullen took the kids out. That helps.
I haven't had any coffee today. That has NOT helped, but it has caused a caffeine headache, and that has helped. You know...your knee hurt? I'll kick you in your ankle and you won't feel your knee anymore kind of deal. Plus, I am proud that it took a solid 6-7 hours before the sonofabitch hit me. See how good not using creamer has been? Turns out I don't love BLACK coffee all that much and don't drink more than a cup. Cullen did get some french vanilla stuff. Hopefully it isn't TOO good. F*cking headache. Now I can either caffeinate up and be awake til 1am, or I can deal. Yes, I know I could "take something" but I won't. One kidney and all. Less is more, blah blah blah.
Sex And The City- yay, and it was my favorite episode.
There's really nothing quality on TV. As I was perusing the garbage I have to choose from, I came across this gem on LIFETIME- known for it's *gems*: "My Stepson, My Lover". Yeah. TV:OFF.
I got my book today. I'm not even telling you what it's called. Cullen looked at it and LAUGHED...he laughed. He should know that that hurts my feelings. Therefore, there's no way in hell I'm telling YOU what it is, but it's inspiring and it is all about following your heart and being brave enough to do the thing you REALLY want to do vs. doing what you feel like you "have to" because you have a family, or bills or whatever other kind of bullshit we sell to ourselves (and buy!) in order to numb ourselves to our dreams and keep working at the job that is slowing sucking our will to live from us. Ya get?
Quiet house, messy house. I'll do some picking up.
Know what else I love? My family. My brother in law stopped over, and he found me just as you do now. My hair is curly and EVERYWHERE from sleeping on it wet. I have jeans and a sweatshirt on. My couch is full of blankets, remotes and books, anything that will help me not get up offa this thing. He came in and had a conversation with me as if it were any other normal day and I was the fly girl I normally am. ;) Fuck. Maybe he didn't even notice that I'm a mess???? That hadn't occurred to me. damndamndamn! I either gotta sex it up more day to day or I need to spray vomit-scent all over myself and do be half baked when I get unexpected visits when I'm down for the count.
And then, because you haven't read any good poop stories from me in awhile, I'll give you a perfectly good one. Little known disgusting fact about me (how to pick WHICH one to share????): In general, if there's not company over, and in the middle of the night for sure, we go by the old adage "if it's pee, let it be, if it's brown, flush it down." This came about up at the cabin because we go through a ton of water flushing, and the tank isn't all that big. Well, not much different here- tank might be bigger, but we still use a ton of water flushing. 4 kids+2 adults+daycare? Yeah. No daycare today, so not so flushy flush today. (can i borrow that vomit smell from you for next time I'm "sick"?) I haven't pooped in days. Yes, days (check sudden bowels habits change as a cyst symptom off the list also). Today, my long, arduous wait was over. I lost about 3 pounds. Awesome! Flush.
Ruh-Roh.
Too much tp in the toilet. Shoulda flushed first!
Waited for it all to calm down a bit. I had to make an executive decision: plunge with the turd floating in the toilet, or do the flush and pray. I didn't FEEL WELL! I told you! Dizzy SUCKS!!!!! I would have puked doing the plunge, therefore, I did the flush and pray.
The most horrible thing in the entire universe happened, followed directly by the best thing I could have hoped for.
The horrible: I made what was bad, worse. Toilet full of pee and poo water OVERFLOWED. Now I was a dizzy girl muttering every naughty word available to me. I was panicking. What was I going to do if a poo escaped?
The Joyous Climax: Toilet suddenly ate all of the tp, poo and pee without me having to even utter a prayer. GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE.
I laid towels down to soak up the nasty water, said screw it, and went to lay back down.
'Course, no one else is going to go clean that up, so the next time I went to pee, I gathered the towels and put them downstairs and busted out the bleach and disinfectant and prayed for the fumes to overtake me. They didn't. If you'd like, I can cook you dinner on my bathroom floor. That mf is CLEAN.
There is your barfy Nicki story for the day.
The end.
No comments:
Post a Comment