Where's my Parenting Handbook?

Seriously. How the f*ck am I supposed to know how to do this?!

Here's the scenario- I catch Jordan and Chuckie whispering together. Jordan looks like he got caught doing something naughty. I still own him, so I corner him, get down face level, very close and say "Jordan, what did you say to Chuckie?"

He says..."Hi?"
And I said, "No, tell me the truth right now."
And he says quietly "Buttcheeks."

So I went into the kitchen to try Chuckie. The good news is that he gave it up right away, and normally he would lie to me with his big brown eyes looking straight at me without blinking. But he told me right away that he whispered "Buttcheeks" to Jordan too.

Okay- they are a 4 year old and a 5 year old. It's times like these that I realize that maybe I'm way stricter than anyone else in the world. Because little disrespectful shit like that makes me BATTY.

I get down to face level with Chuckie and say very firmly and very quietly "If you ever talk like that again, you will not get to play with the kids. That kind of talk is NOT allowed here. Do you understand?" and he, of course, says the only thing that he can, which is: Yes.

This is the 2nd time in as many days that I've had to really have discussion with Jordan about how to behave when he's with Samantha or Chuckie. He's FOUR, so he still needs some direction.

NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION at their house. I have decided, officially and certainly that I dont' care for Jordan to play over there anymore. I'm not stupid. I know that they could be in the other room right now whispering "asshole" to eachother for all I know. I can't watch everything, all the time. I'm sure my kids aren't total saints. But Jordan is FOUR. I have never had encounters with such stinkers before, that my kids are exposed to fairly regularly. The older ones can help the younger ones make good decisions. But Jordan? He's along for the ride. I need it to stop. I need more time with Jordan. I think we've slid backwards, I had no idea just how off the rails it is over there, I guess.
And they didn't give the picture to the mom and dad.

I can't stand other people's kids. <----- HAHAH. You know I'm kidding. Hope ya'll saw the humor in that.

I want an RV, and I want to travel the country. Now.