There are no do overs.

*normal disclaimer* "Exuberant Leo Jumps To Wild Conclusions Without Any Hard Evidence!"

Got it? Nothing solid happening here.
Shannon and his sister have been at Fargo for testing and such. I am almost positive that at his 6 month check up he was released to his own PCP for care, in Minot. So it was a little suspicious. They'd been there for 2 days in a row. I did email him this morning to see how they are doing and what the doc said. He's said very little about it, I don't know if he'll tell me if something is going on or not.

I did tell him awhile ago that that isn't MY kidney, it's his and that I don't want him to feel weird if and when things go on. I know life is not nearly as easy as the recipient. My life has gone back to normal and I know his didn't. Recipients go through it, when they get kidneys. They feel a hell of a lot better, but keeping your body from rejecting it is one thing, and the fact that a hundred other things can go wrong is another.

So that's where it's at- I have no solid evidence of anything, other than them going to Fargo.
Because I am me, I went ahead and imagined that there's a rejection episode or somesuch. Just to try it on and all, because I've been pretty positive that I would be "fine" and be disconnected from the kidney if that happened. I am happy to report that indeed, I AM disconnected from the kidney in that instance, but I found myself very teary over the idea that Shannon might be sick. Then I started feeling sad for Shelia if Shannon gets sick- she's already lost one brother and to watch helplessly if he gets sick again... And My Darling Friend already patted me on the back and reminded me that nothing could ever take away the gift I gave, which was of love ultimately, and 4 other people got kidneys because I gave, but there is something that would hurt in a very particular way if, say, the kidney failed altogether. For Shannon, I think. I can't pinpoint what would hurt, I'd feel like I let him down somehow...well, I guess it would be the "common" response to anything like that. When we try to do something nice for someone and it just doesn't work out the way we thought or wished.
I just thought I'd share that because I tend to bumble through life brushing off all the concerns, and because in real life something could very well be going on right now....well....I cried when I imagined him being sick again.

But we'll see. Maybe I'll email his sister. She might tell me more as another donor?
It's really- REALLY none of my business, outside of the fact that I love and honor each of them for what they've done and been through. Maybe I won't email her.

Blah!
It's Friday, and I made it. Cullen's off today, and has his day all planned out full of running around. He works tomorrow. Tomorrow I had all sorts of plans but Caiden is coming over so I'm bailing on most of them so it won't feel overwhelming and I can pretend to have a 2 day weekend. :)