Omigosh!

I need to think out loud here- HAHAHAHAH. I know, I know, you wish I'd knock it off for a minute.

I was just invited to a discussion with one of Cullen's aunts. I love this aunt DEARLY, and she is VERY STRICTLY Catholic. But she is very, very good at keeping any judgements she has to herself, and she seems very open to wanting to know and hear other people.

I have been WAY blessed so far---it seems like mostly people "catch" me...I mean, I will say something with a passion and then feel badly, wondering if I said it incorrectly or too strongly and people, in general, seem very forgiving of me and my impulsive reactions to things. I expect more defensiveness than I normally get.

So I'm thinking out loud. She's wondering what it is about "new age stuff" fascinates me. She didn't word it like that, but that was the gist of it. I avoid this conversation completely, most of the time. As I've said time and again, I understand people who don't believe there is a God at all more than I understand organized religions.

I believe in God. Or call it Life. Whatever. I believe that there is really no right or wrong, save what we call right or wrong (I've come to this conclusion by the way we keep changing what is "right" and what is "wrong"). I do NOT believe that God/Life/The Universe is like humans- judgemental. I don't believe there is a hell. Yes, again, that means Hitler went to heaven. I believe that everyone does the best they can with their model and idea of the world and how it works. I don't believe anything we see is real. I believe that our thoughts become things...on a mass conscious level as well as in our own itty bitty lives. I don't think that Jesus meant to have us all clamouring after him claiming that he is the ONLY way to get back home. We never left home. I dont' think we're seperate from God. Pretend to be God for a minute. You KNOW you're God, you're Everything, but unless you EXPERIENCE that, what good is it? This is true even in your life. You can KNOW you're a good singer, but unless you SING OUT LOUD and experience that you're a good singer...what good is knowing it? If you're God, there's an infinite number of possibilities in how to experience yourself. You CAN'T know GOOD if that's all there is, so along come bad....but not in Ultimate Reality. Just in Relative Reality. You can't know Love if there's not a seeming lack. So we choose to come here and forget Who We Really Are and How It Really Is so we can pick and choose what we want to do and see and feel and everything, in any way we choose. The problem comes in when we let our heads fill with all these stories of "How Things Are". "THIS" is "bad". To fix "that", do "this". You may not do this, that or that, and you can't think "this" because that is "bad" too. Etc, etc. Many of us see and feel what a load of shit this is, and some of us scrap it all together, and decide that God would never be that way, and so it must not be true. There is no God. We don't go anywhere, we don't do anything, we came from the earth and we go back to the earth, end of story. Others decide that religion is full of crap and lies, and go "New Age". Others seem to find comfort in organized religion.
You know where I stand. Being gay is no different than not being gay, being black is no different than being white, being a boy no different than a girl, the President is no more worthy of ANYTHING than anyone else....sex outside of marriage is no worse than sex inside of marriage, murder and rape are horrible, horrible things---and we'd do them a favor to let them all out of their bodies so they can be whole again and escape what must be a miserable existence to do those things....
And I need to find a way to reply to her, without offending her....
Maybe after I go to the store....
Somehow...