Good Idea!

Did I already tell you my great idea?
I may have.
I think it's time we go back to old school and doctors start making house calls again. This would save a lot of people a lot of time. Are there any private practice doctors who aren't affiliated with a hospital that even have that freedom? Perhaps that's not the way it even works. What do I know?

Doesn't my post look So Much More Important because it's all in italics?

Do you have anyone or anything that brings you comfort just by thinking about them/it? That's kind of a nice magic trick, isn't it? To extract comfort without even having contact? I hope that happens for me with my mother in law, after she goes. Right now it happens for me with someone else who is still alive, but I'm very happy that I have that security blankey within reach, whenever I really need it.

This weekend, the most dreaded person I can think of personally popped up on my Friends You May Know list. This was bound to happen at some point. I didn't feel a thing when I saw him. I even nosed around his friend list, to see one of his younger brothers. The one that I felt like had the best chance of escaping his childhood without becoming a crazy abusive monster. He is SOOOOO adorable. OMG, his smile is still precious. I love him! I hope he has escaped it. I loved seeing his picture.
Then, just a wee bit, some of the *mad* crept in. I kept it mostly under control and I got another perspective on all that went down back then. It's kinda kick ass, actually. Here it is: I did just about everything you can think of that is "bad" when I was with him (minus drugs and stuff). All the things I did---if you sat and told someone all the things I did and they didn't know me, they would judge me harshly. HARSHLY. And the things I did absolutely warranted that. But even so, I knew that I was better than what I was doing. I knew that no matter what, I wasn't worth of such harsh judgment. That's kinda a kick ass place to be in. Maybe I was proving to myself that there was nothing so horrible that I could do that would ever make me worthy of that? Who knows. But Icky. I don't know if I felt happy or sad to see that he looks miserable, in general. I bet nothing much has changed for him, except that he's probably convinced that the whole world has a problem, the same problem I had, whatever he thought that was. It has probably no occurred to him that it's him. Isn't that sad? Maybe he has realized it, and has worked on it and is happy? I should hope for that. He could break the cycle.
Barfy.
Anyways, thank God the sun is out, but I am truly at just about the end of my ability to continue on with cold weather. I desperately need to be outside and not shivering, and i need to bring the kids outside too.

I drank coffee without creamer today. I'm a champ. Only 1.5 cups. This might be my ticket to caffeine freedom too. We're going to find out, people.