Sarah

This one is a little bit hard to write about. You know how some people just make your insides feel a certain way? I loved Sarah, but she makes my insides feel sad. Of course I have total control over that, and if I really needed to get over it, I would connect with her and get over it, and I haven't.
Sarah came along sometime in highschool. Must have been around 10th grade or so. she was in one of my classes, and she sat near me. This girl is a fricken RIOT. Still to this day, I'm sure she's mega funny. I like me some funny people, does it show?
She has a younger brother, Matt. She, her dad and mom and Matt all lived on Columbus Ave. It wasn't long before we were hanging out A LOT. Again, she seemed more outgoing than I was, more willing and unafraid of the big, scary world, and I loved that about her. She seemed to really know who she was and she didn't care what anyone else thought, whereas I knew darned well who I was, but I cared too desperately to show the world. Oh, how the world wishes for just a little bit of that now, dontcha World?
We were good girls, too, I might add. There wasn't much funny business going on for us. Just normal girl stuff...going to games, dances, hangin with friends. It was good. Okay...so we had boys, but I mean, in general...GIVE A GIRL A BREAK HERE, geez. :P There was more laughing than anything. And loving. Some of this stuff wasn't easy, and we were going through it together.
Then things got bad in her house. Her parents were splitting up, and it was ugly. What happened next should have really, really been obvious- and it was, I supose....but Sarah started acting out. Suddenly there was lots of drinking, smoking,and Good Lord did she get crabby. And depressed. So far down that I couldn't reach her. It was so sad to not be able to reach her, usually I can. But she was still my funny friend whom I loved. I did feel braver though, and we were still hanging out all the time, so I went ahead and tried some of this and some of that with her. There were some hysterically funny moments that I will never forget, and I'm so thankful that I had her in my life for awhile.
But she started experimenting with things that I was NOT okay with. Turns out "yes Nicki" actually had things she'd say no to, and Sarah was not saying no to them. I stuck around as long as I could, because I knew my Sarah was still in there, but I couldn't keep up with her. The end came when she accused me of stealing her dad's money. She said I was the only one who knew where the money was kept, but that isn't true. I wouldn't dream of it now, and I didn't dream of it then. She had another houseguest or two that spent the night with us often there and I'm positive they could answer to that money, but not I. But she blamed me. That broke my heart into a hundred tiny pieces. Sarah had stood by me, cried for me, during what was the pinnacle of the worst time of my life up to that point, and I cherished her, and she thought I could or would do something like that.
We parted ways.
I made contact with her after I had my shit straightened out, to see how she was doing, and found her nursing her new baby, and ready to party again. I didn't engage with her after that.
My sister is the step mother to that child, so Sarah is still in the picture, but i haven't reconnected with her. Like I said, she brings with her a sad feeling. Partially on her part, and I'm sure part of it was just me at that time, and I'm still reacting to it.

But man, did we have fun. I hope she's doing okay.