Moon River

I DO love the moonlight, so much I don't have words for it, SO TAKE THAT! : ) It tickles me down to my toes when the moon is in the right spot for bedtime. YAY FOR ME.

Tonight, I will share Wendy with you. I LOVE YOU WENDY!!!!!

I totally feel like I've already done this. HAHAHAH! I probably have. If that isn't love, what is?????
I met Wendilyn Irene (heheh! Forgive me, Wendy!) when we were in 6th grade, at ELC. That's where we got to go for a weekend? Was it that long? Anyways- we were both on the top bunks right next to eachother, and she was new and we clicked right away. She was funny from the minute I knew her. We spent lots of time writing notes over that weekend, and laughing. She's written DORK on one of the notes and I'd read DONK, and after laughing, laughing, laughing over it, she became 1/2 Donk while I was 1/4 Donk. Or was it reversed?
We found out that she lived on 73rd and 5th, which is right by mom's house, and we were fairly inseperable. I did much better having a couple of close friends than a bunch of not close ones, and we were close. She, her mom and her 3 sisters lived in what I realize now was a small house. Back then it didn't seem so small. I can't imagine what her mom was going through, raising four GIRLS by herself. I met Wendy's dad, grandma...I knew her family. OH I love Wendy!
We listened to music together and would sing at the top of our lungs as we went between houses. Her neighbors were boys a couple of years younger than us, and we had lots of fun hanging out with them too. She was braver than I was, but she reminded me of my dad in the way that he makes everything seem safe and okay, and I wasn't scared to do anything if I was with Wendy.
We would hang out in the alley behind her house, goofing off. With the radio out there playing Salt N Pepa or Quiet Riot, depending on who we were impressing that day. She was just so funny!
But then...years passed and we started getting older. My Wendy moved, into a bigger house, but on the other side of Richfield. My brave, fearless Wendy grew away from me, experimenting with things that I was far too scared to try. Hanging out with people who weren't afraid. I hate to admit it, but I was heartbroken. I felt like they stole her away, even though I knew better, even then. I would cry in my room, knowing she was out with Heather or Heidi, or Marissa, and I'd hear about things she was doing, and I felt left out and sad. It took me a long time to get over it.
We reconnected once, must have been about 11th grade because by then I'd experienced some of what she had. We talked on the phone for 2 hours, it was so much fun. I went to her house to watch a movie with everyone, and it was fun but it was still clear that we were just...different now.
By 12th grade, I was a size 1, eating disordered, emotionally abused mess. I had no idea how to get out of the horrible relationship I was in, I wanted to disappear and die, and I was waiting for school to be done. Finally, in June, the day that seemed it would never, ever arrive, did. I was free. Free from the hell that was highschool. My problems came with me, of course, but at least the constant scrutiny I felt I was under was over with.
We were coming home from Arkansas for Thanksgiving....well, we arrived home, I should say. The first weird thing was the Eating Disorder book in the door, left by someone for me. I had numerous friends who knew, but it was still comforting. Then the phone rang.
It was Sarah, who I should write about next, on the phone. "Did you hear about Wally?" No...no, I didn't hear about Wally. "She died in a car accident this weekend."
That's alot for a 18 year old to hold in their messed up head....how do I mourn my friend that I wasn't close with anymore, but still loved, when others were closer to her and loved her? Did I have a place in mourning? I knew her whole family, did I get to go and offer them some comfort? What does it mean when an 18 year old dies? What does that feel like?
I did go, of course I went.
And sometimes, when I'm really lucky, I get a Wendy dream. Usually she comes when i'm having my water dream, about the river/stream, she's there. I haven't had a Wendy dream in a long time. But I talk to her still. Just yesterday, I was going through a CJ and found a song that she loved. It has Wendy all over it, and I played it loud and danced around for her to it. I'm a geek like that. I loved her. I haven't forgotten her.
This morning I logged on to the puter, and opened all my windows and there in my yahoo account was a message from Wendy's sister Heidi. She has a Wendy dream, and Wendy needed me to know something. The email was long and beautiful and so full of Wendy. So I carried her around some with me today. God, she was a quirky one. She makes me seem boring.
*smile* well, that's my Wendy. I can call her that now and it's true. SHINE ON, GIRL!