The wishes that I look forward to coming true:
Having someone take over my endless task of budgeting and paying bills.
Having someone do the taxes for me, and not charge me $300 to do them.
Bono writing a song for me.
Wake up fully refreshed in the morning without the need for one more minute of sleep before the day hits.
One full day of not being grossed out by meat.
One full day of not feeling like I don't belong anywhere.
I would love, love, love, to live in a bubble for a little while. The restorativeness that would bring to is infathomable. If I could live in a bubble where I was totally and completely taken care of...I don't mean pampered even..I mean everything I just said. Someone else worrying about paying the bills, keeping the kids school shit in order and filled out, scheduling this, that and the other for everyone, and trying to find the time to get this one here and that one there at this time, making food, picking kids up and dropping them off, getting husband out of bed on time and off to work, keeping all the fricken clothes clean, dusting every now and then, scrubbing the toilet so it's not nasty since none of these boys control their hoses well...
Is that enough?
I don't know where that whine came from. My boy Jack Johnson is on now. I love him.
I'm TIRED!!! WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I don't want to hit the ground running.
Sometimes it's irritating how Cullen comes in the house every 45 minutes to "hang out" with me, which means he asks how taxes are going, and makes small talk while our neighbor sits in the garage and waits for his drinking buddy to come back out. Maybe that's what just pissed me off. I don't LIKE doing our taxes, but I do them, and he's out there drinking. They fixed alot of cars today, I'll give them that, but wtf. I got to go shopping with Kimmy today, so I shouldn't whine about having every f*cking responsibility sitting on me all the time. And I'm a Leo so I'm probably being dramatic. BUT WHEN'S THE LAST TIME ....oh, I could play that game forever and it wouldn't be productive. I'm fairly sure that *I* have changed also, under so much responsibility. Now my impulsiveness doesn't revolve so much around taking off in the middle of the night for a field in the middle of no where to lay in, no, now it gets my head shaved and other stupid shit that I can get away with.
UGH! Me thinks I'm just too tired, and putting off going to bed because once I do, I'll wake up again, too soon and have to start all over.
I have had some fabulously lucid dreams again. I pet an eagle last night in my dream. That'd be fun to do again. Or if I could get a good flying dream, or one of my lake dreams. SOMETHING. I need SOMETHING.
SIGH.
Okay. Seriously. I need to go unconcious now. GO, ME. UGH!
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