I found a looophole!

I found a loophole to my eating disordered/exercising issue! My normal issue is that if I work out "too much" , or too regularly it takes over very quickly. Suddenly I'm not eating very much, and enjoying it too much. Which means that what I have been doing is having to "trick" me into working out. Parking far away and walking to wherever I'm going. Taking the stairs- twice. Cleaning the house as quickly as I can, working up a sweat. Lifing Jordan over and over. BUT- I may have found a loophole.
If I am working out in an effort to be as fit as I can be before surgery, my recovery is going to ROCK. I ran another 2.5 miles today. And my mind is GOOD when I'm running. I'm not looking at the skinny pictures my sister has plastered up as "help". I dont' care about being skinny. I want to heal even faster than I normally do.
It might just work! It's early in the game, but it just might work. Plus, I'm a dumbass and didn't wear my running shoes over there- I wore my boots, so this idiot rant 2.5 miles in her SOCKS. I have blisters. But I did it!
A big shout out to people who don't read this: Kimmy, Travis, Jamie. I love you guys. Thank you for a super duper fun night, K and T. You make me laugh until I cry, and I love you. T, I hope I didn't break your car! Jamie, I love having you next door. You are so funny too. I always look forward to seeing you again. Michelle, thank you for letting me come over and run whenever I want, and thanks for liking all the same music I do. Thank you for understanding me and supporting me when I least expect it.
Cullen- thank you for letting me sleep in on Sunday's. That is so nice of you. I appreciate getting to take my time rolling out of bed. Thanks for being such a great daddy, and doing the things that make me want to run away thinking about it. You are brave, and you don't even know it. If you could drag yourself away from Chuck and the garage tonight, I'd consider showing you my appreciation again, but it's looking like Chuck and the garage will win. Enjoy that! I love you! It's been good to have you home, we'll miss you when you go back to normal hours again.

For all of my life I have dreamed lucidly, every night. I have a number of recurring dreams, and a few icky dreams, but mostly they are just dreams. Months ago, when I had a moment of clarity about something, I stopped recalling my dreams. I woke up, remembering nothing. It's been that way for awhile. Suddenly, when I became cloudy again, my dreams have started again. Isn't that weird? Last night it was a "haunted house" at a theme park, cept this one was really haunted, and it was terrible. Horrid things went on that place. Bizarre. I didn't wake up afraid, as I knew that they were real witches who would hypnotize you if you went in, so I didn't go in, but I felt so bad for all the people going in. My dad went in. With Josh and Jordan.
I wonder what it will take to get clear again? It seems almost impossible to do. Remembering what made me clear last time doesn't help. It's like my searching, searching, searching dreams. Can't find who I'm looking for, anywhere, ever. It doesn't matter where I go, I'm just lost.
Well, here's hoping one of my recurring dreams that I really like will visit me soon!