And, the real waiting begins....

First of all, yay me for finding my way again without directions! WHOO HOOO!!! Today they injected some stuff into my arm, and then took blood at 2, 3 and 4 hours later. Have you ever cheered your kidneys on? "GO KIDNEYS!!! CLEAN THAT STUFF OUT OF OUR BLOOD! FASTER!" I can't say I've ever given those things much thought til now. I sat in the transplant centers room, watching people come and go, listening to nurses talking to patients about transplants and possibilities and hope, feeling so happy to be there, hoping I can donate.
It was also a nice forced break.
After the last blood draw, I felt sick to my stomach. Not from giving blood, but because there is nothing I can do now. My numbers are my numbers no matter what happens. I can't make them better or worse. I had tears the whole way to mom's to pick up Julia and Jordan. I don't want to hear no.
When I came home there was a message from this morning, from my coordinator. She said, and I quote, "I see that you're here today for your Iohexol. We had our meeting yesterday and your kidneys look kinda okay, so let's see what today tells us and we'll go from there."
WTF DOES THAT MEAN.
Kinda okay?
Kinda okay like they are semi healthy but not so much?
Kinda okay like they are healthy but there are some pain in the ass blood vessels that will be hard for the surgeon to get to, if I get to? What does that mean?
So, of course, I called her back and left her that message: How long am I waiting and what does kinda okay mean? Which way are they kinda okay? If my numbers are good, are me and my kinda okay kidneys in? What does that MEAN? it would be most kick ass if she'd call me back today still.
There goes *pause* PHONE RINGING! IT'S LINDA!
Let's take a moment for a happy dance, shall we?
*HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE!!!!!*

I'M GOOD! MY KIDNEYS ARE GOOD! THEY ARE GOOD! SHE SAID THEY WILL TAKE THE LEFT ONE IF MY NUMBERS FROM TODAY ARE GOOD! SHE SAID THEY LOOK GOOD AND HEALTHY! SHE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING BY KINDA OKAY, SHE SAID THAT SHE MEANT IT POSITIVELY! I'M GOOD! I'M GOOD! I'M GOOD!
Okay. Now my numbers today, ugh, just have to be good! They just HAVE to be good! she said it can take up to a week to get those results back. How am I going to wait a week?
God this is giving me flashback of AM I PREGNANT? COULD I BE PREGNANT? DID IT WORK THIS TIME? WHEN I MY PERIOD DUE?
WHEW.
Okay. One thing at a time.
Food. I'm going to have to feed these kids. I still can't cook. Taco Bell tonight to celebrate. : )