It's true.

No matter where I look, it's just true. Love is the only thing that matters. Ever. Period. Everything else trickles down.

I've felt sad because I (we) can't make anything easier or better for Tina, or Rick, or Quentin. I went and got garlic bread and brownies and I couldn't resist the crazy colored daisies. You know how i feel about real flowers, but I couldn't not. And we laughed and talked and I got her out for a walk (right by the fence where the 6 year old climbed over the fence to 35W- HORRIBLE!), and somehow Quentin is even skinnier than a couple of days ago, but he let me hug him goodbye anyway. Do you know what? She could feel how much I love her (them)!!!! I can't fix anything, but I can love them. And somehow it'll just be good enough.

My funny, funny nephew cracked me up when he sat down to discuss hemmoroids. I love Matt to pieces. He taught me a very, very important lesson when he was...how old was he? It was before CJ and after Mexico#1. So...9 years ago? He was 7. Here's the set up:

I was going to cut his hair, and my friend who was pregnant and had a icky baby daddy asked me if I'd go to the birthing classes with her. This was HUGE for me because I'd just miscarried but I'd said yes anyway. I was busy learning about the idea that everyone is on their own path and I had no idea what any of those people had been through to get pregnant- it was VERY good for me. It was the first class. I was a little bit emotionally exhausted afterwards. Cullen was at Rick and Tina's watching the kids, and when I got there it was 9:30pm and all the kids were in bed. I considered not cutting Matt's hair. He had to be sleeping, right? There was that moment in time, one of those moments that are VERY important even though I wasn't aware of how much weight it carried when it came. That was the moment that I thought "I'll just go peek and see if he's awake."
This child knew I was coming over to cut his hair and he laid in bed checking his clock every few minutes, knowing I'd be there by 9:30. He was LAYING THERE AWAKE, WAITING. I have never felt so much relief that I went and checked on him instead of assuming he was fast asleep. My heart broke when I thought about the possiblity of letting him down. I cut his hair, and he went to bed happy.
I get real upset when the kids are promised something that doesn't happen, because they take it to heart and I don't want them to grow up not trusting things that they are told will happen. He was just LAYING THERE watching the CLOCK!!!!
Rick and Tina need a love page all their own. Off I go.