I have RISEN!

And...she's up, again!
Cullen brought up a box of Easter decorations yesterday. I put them out because the kids like them but I feel like an imposter. I really dislike "celebrating" holidays that I don't believe in. Easter celebrates the rising of Jesus. It isn't even that I don't think that that happened. I hope it really did. But I don't buy into the rest of the story, that he's the only way in blah blah blah.
I've GOT to do this "religion" thing right by the kids somehow. They know my thoughts and views on God/love/life. But that's the thing...they come in remembering nothing about anything, and we fill our little blank slates up with our ideas, and I don't want them to just imitate me, you know?
Some lovely Jehovah Witnesses came by with our personal invite to the "celebration". CJ wanted to know if we were going to go. I told him no, probably not, but then I reconsidered for just one minute. Maybe I SHOULD take them around and let them experience different ideas about God? If I were smart, maybe that's what I would do? I don't know. I explained to him that JW's don't celebrate birthdays or any holidays, but they get around it with celebrations etc. I'm happy to say that we'll be gone on our anniversary mini vaca on Easter so I will escape having to do my Easterly duties. Aren't I the biggest poop EVER? I bring cynical to a whole new level, seriously.
I wonder if that's what I should do? I could start a little study with my babies on religions. They do a mini study like that in school anyway, without getting into too much detail. Maybe I could take the top 10 religions and we can study them a little bit?
I think they know how *I* feel enough now so that that can be what they fall back on if they are to find that none of the religions make any sense to them? What I'm opening myself up to though is the possibility that they will actually like one of the religions. I'd be okay with buddism even, I guess. I just don't want them to be told that they were born BAD and that there's nothing in the world they can do to make that any better, but don't worry, Jesus will save you. Who needs that kind of self esteem issue right off the bat? As if GOD could screw something up so badly that he'd have to create Someone else to fix his fuck up? No way. My babies are beautiful souls who are here and they will make mistakes and they will live and in the end, we'll all go back to where we came from anyway, and live happily ever after. It isn't right for me to "force" that on them either.
It's tricky, like Run DMC said. My sister invites us to church all the time. The church itself is pretty good- awesome music and I like the pastors a lot. But it's baptist based and the one week they talked about Jesus saving, it was over. There's another church over on 108th and Zenith...Universal Unitarian, which is MUCH more up my alley- it encompasses ALL faiths and focuses more on the "good" in the world and how we can help put more out there. But it's Sundays at 10:30 and usually I'm at Suzannes. And I still feel like I don't need church in the first freakin place. I'm way more in love with life/God than dare I say many people who are confessing their sins and saying sorry constantly. I don't need to go to church for that. Cullen misses it, but not enough to do something about it. Hell, he wouldn't get to sleep in, would he. (snarky!)
Michelle actually said to me "How do you expect your kids to grow up and do the right thing if they aren't afraid of the consequences?" I KNOW. Can you believe that? I don't expect them to grow up and do the right thing. I expect them to grow, and learn, and watch, and see what feels good to them, and to go from there. When they make some bigger mistakes, I am going to help them see that it's not actually a reflection on THEM and there are things to do to help make things better. If they do something unspeakably horrible, unforgivable by the world we live in, I'm sure that I'll be crucified for being The Mom, but I will love them anyway. I can't see how trying to make them afraid of God does anyone any good at all. Why would I chase them around with "You're going to hell if you don't do THIS the right way..." That is insanity to me. Pure insanity.

Okay, religious rant off. Me and my Easter decorations will be making some scrambled eggs with cheese. Be here in 20 minutes or ....don't. :)