I just don't get it...

California did WHAT? Made it illegal to use toys as a way to lure people to eat fast food?
Okay. So they did. That's great, but are we humans that stupid? I mean- ARE WE? Is that the lure? Have we been "tricked" into eating shit to get our kids toys? Do we not have ANY responsiblity to ourselves and for our own actions anymore?! Seriously? That's the most pathetic thing I have ever heard!!!!!!!! It doesn't make any sense at all. Humans are total losers sometimes.

Second of all, someone threw their opinion at me today. I need to be okay with that, but it was over something that I'm fairly sensitive about right now. I was a good girl, and what I did is just not respond at all. I stopped responding. But you know me. It's gotta come out.

Daycare/working moms. I DO have an opinion about this whole situation but I don't talk about it a whole lot because I am probably not "right". I'm only "right" about ME, for ME, you know? My general thought process for me is that the kids are little one time. Once they are in school they are gone- they are then officially with someone else...LOTS of someone else's more than with their parent/s. So I want to eat that time up as much as possible. This is not saying that daycare isn't good- it has benefits! I'm not saying anything at all, I'm saying that *I* wanted to be there for the first 5 years. *I* wanted to be their main influence (who knows if THAT is even a good idea...). I have been SO BLESSED to be able to work from home. It wasn't working. It's hard as hell to pull off. So...i did what I had to do. I'm not planning on doing this for long, but I still suffer(ed) through guilt and feeling like I failed. That wasn't a fun feeling- isn't a fun feeling. I don't like it. But I'm just going to do what I have to do to get through and it's okay if I don't stay in that place all the time. It's okay if I feel normal getting up, getting kids ready, dropping them off and going to work. This isn't how I'd necessarily write the script, but being in this situation is making me DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT- and that's a gift, right? I get choices and I can DO SOMETHING or I can sit on my ass and ...not do anything, and keep hating how things are. Not doing that.
Anyway- there were some comments made that really irritated me. I can't imagine how she thought it would not hurt me to say those things. I just don't get why people feel like it's okay to puke their opinion's on other people. Esp about this. But it's the age old debate, I supose... I should let up on her, because I know she didn't mean "anything" by it. She probably felt like she was "on my side" when she said those things. When my gall bladder went nuts and I got it yanked she did say "It's just so unfair how these things keep happening to you." and we had a great talk about how it WASN'T unfair and nothing was happening "to" me. I didn't HAVE to get the hyst or the gb yanked when I did. Nothing "happened" to me. I'm not a victim of anything. Those were just choices I made. I did get frustrated to tears once regarding my gallbladder because I felt like it was putting off the kidney surgery (little did I freaking know), but I didn't feel like a VICTIM. Okay. If I put her shoes on, she said some stupid things trying to be "on my side" but instead sounded judgemental. Judging my actions..My actions that I am struggling with anyway and don't feel the best about. But I just stopped responding. It's okay. I'm okay. This cheesecake helps LOADS. It's why I ran another 2.5, right?
Okay.
I'll be okay.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST TYPED! IT'S NOT APPROPRIATE! That's your warning.
I typed
But F*CK!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! Read it again. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

Note to self: This is my path. She's on her own path. My path has taken me to some of the most glorious places ever, and I will continue to be blown away by the way this story twists and turns, and I will continue to recognize my hand in all of it. If I just keep my eyes on my path, the taunting from the sidelines won't bother me so much. GO TEAM NICKI.

By the way, and this may be completely unnecessary, but I'd post it on my Mommy board so I'll post it here- this post in no way reflects how I feel about the way any of ya'll are doing your thing. I wished to be home for the first 5 years and I didn't get to (with all 4), and for all I know they would have been better off in daycare/preschool. I truly have no opinion on what anyone else does or how they do it. In fact, I need tips on pulling this shit off. I'm not very good at it yet. I have noticed a nice big cup of coffee in the morning helps. ;)