I have made out with 3 yummy things today. Cullen, Ryker and that sandwhich. I might have made out hardcore with that coffee this morning too. Okay, 4 things. Am I a Life Whore????
So I read this thing that was really interesting, and I'm going to paraphrase it and likely butcher it. It was talking about marriage and where we fail- I wonder if I've already said this. I am having de ja vu and I can't remember if I already knew this or not. Oh well. You're used to senseless repetition, right? HA. I bailed on it. Halfway through it and I got bored. You're saved again!
Instead, I'll pick out a question from the Let's Talk jar and we'll do that! Because what's funner than hearing myself? *eyeroll*
WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN BEING A GOOD FRIEND?
Listening without judgement. Laughing. Support even if it's something that we wouldn't choose ourselves. Loving them right then for who they are right then. Knowing who they REALLY are even when they don't. Hearing what they are really saying, especially when they are having a hard time saying it. Letting them off the hook over things that aren't all that important. Letting that comment slide. I just realized that all of this is true, and harder to do, when it comes to being friends with MYSELF. Boy, I could really stand to let up on me alot. I bet you could too. We should have Take It Easy On Me Tuesday and baby ourselves, not letting even one negative thing in. Wanna try?
WHEN YOU FEEL SCARED, WHAT DO YOU DO TO FEEL BETTER?
This is a good one because I suck when I'm scared. I don't show a thing. I hide the scared inside and I pretend I'm not afraid. That serves me and hinders me all at the same time. Fake it til you make it kicks in but if I could find a way to deal with the fear of whatever, share it, it'd feel a lot better. I wonder what I'm afraid of. In general, I don't think I carry any fears- that's gotta be okay, right? I was terrified of my review (hard for you to believe, I know. HAHAHAH!). Hm. It's like with pain- if I'm vocal when I'm in pain, I feel like it gives it more power and life. If I don't, then it can't get out of control. I was AWESOME in labor (hahhaa. Maybe not, I probably don't clearly remember). Hm. Nonanswer. New question.
WHAT'S A REALLY NICE THING SOMEONE HAS DONE FOR YOU?
Where to start? Michelle came over yesterday and started cleaning for me. Then she cooked for me and cleaned up afterward.
Cullen brought me some foo foo coffee this morning, yesterday got me Panera, the day before a blizzard and lobster tacos. <---- don't get em, not worth it.
He also said the sweetest thing ever. I don't know why it melts me so much when he says it, but it gets me. It's better than a "nice ass" comment any day. We were in bed, and I don't know what he said that was funny but I was laughing my head off and he said "That's the best sound in the world." Know who makes him jealous? People who make me laugh. I'm surprised he lets me hang out with Jamie. (I'm just kidding Jamie, he loves you). Isn't that sweet? The very thing that I'm sure irritates everyone in the office that forgot how I am, and he loves it. Yay.
I have the best friends ever, who listen to me and make fun of me minimally. For real. Rocks.
The kids cleaned up the room for me. It was their shit anyway, but who knows how much time I clock cleaning up after people. It was nice.
Julia told me that she loves me even when I'm crabby. Isn't that nice? Cullen can't pull that off sometimes, but Julia...she's got it. Josh does too. He comes over to touch me as soon as I start getting crabby. He touches me softly, gently and I cannot possibly be crabby then. He's the smartest 6 year old ever. Julia will throw her arms around my leg and squeeze it and tell me that she loves me anyway. I don't deserve their love and adoration, but I appreciate it and am more grateful than I have words for.
Dad played with the kids yesterday and is going to build a hutch so we can keep the wabbit.
Cullen took the kids out so I could work in peace today.
I could od this forever.
Wasn't it fun for me today when we came home from Cub to find two of my favorite neighbors in the street talking together? That was the best!
Okay. Working Girl is going to pack some lunches for the kids, get some clothes ready, and go start getting loud with the 2 downstairs who still think it's Party Time. See? I don't start OUT yelly, but eventually I get there...
OHHHH what to eat.
George Michael has a perfectly delicious voice. I don't care. I said it out loud. Love him.
I'm HUNGRY!
I wonder how "old" we really are.
And, a little Frank Sinatra for your eve:
Sometimes you think you've lived before
All that you live today
Things you do come back to you
As though they knew the way
Oh, the tricks your mind can play!
It seem we stood and talked like this before
we looked at each other in the same way then,
But I canÍt remenber where or when.
The clothes youÍre wearing are the clothes you wore.
The smile you are smiling you were smilimg then,
But i canÍt remember where or when.
Some things that happend for the first time,
Seem to be happening again.
And so it seems that we have met before
and laughted before and loved before,
But who knows where or when.
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