It's little but it still counts.

This morning..actually, it started last night, I felt an unsettling feeling...
I should be used to this, and since you read my head, you probably see it coming a long time before I do, maybe....every winter I want to MOVE. I want to get away from here, and that leaves me feeling stuck, and even worse...blanketed by a lack of hope. It's frozen, there's mucho snow everywhere, my body is CRAVING warmth and sunshine...I feel stuck. that's the WORST feeling EVER. Feeling stuck in the house. Full of kids. Overrun with kids.
Today I'm even a little more nervous because the neighbor kids will be here. They shouldn't make me nervous, they practically live here, but you don't understand. They don't trust me yet. They fly under my radar as much as they can. They don't eat normally, and they lie without blinking their big brown eyes. Plus, they live across the street, and I'm terrified that after a few days here they will cry about coming here. Silly? Chances are greater that they will LIKE boundries, and they will GROW and FLOURISH as I sit with them and help them learn instead of letting them play the F*CKING Wii all day long. But as my ever wise husband said "You are going to have to rely on some serious patience, first."
So anyway, getting up this morning didn't feel fun. I feel like Florida set me back a little bit. We should have waited til late February when spring didn't feel like it was a million miles away, like it does now.
Then- and I warned you this was little- Ethan's mom called. He won't be here today. I'm down one infant and one 15 month old today. That doesn't sound like much but until you come over here and watch the insanity, you can't understand that that's HUGE. Ethan is such a good baby but he's very busy and this is going to help me today, help me get the other two on the same page as I am. I'm so happy. Now I have to get a game plan for C and S.

I can do it. Right? I am going to make it through this next few stupid cold, gross months, and the days and weeks will fly by because of daycare and because I wish it so, and I'm going to survive it.

Shannon is my new friend on facebook. :) Our kidneyversary is coming up in 2 more days!