I shall make it so!

I HAVE to be at my most creative during these crazy periods because I can't shut UP.
I finally unwrapped the last of the gifts. I haven't had the heart to because I knew it would give me tears. These are the gifts that the kids bought or found and wrapped for their friends. Their crappy mom with the crappy follow through never drove around the cities as intended, to deliver them. :(

I love CJ's heart- he actually used his own money to buy some little gifts for his favorite friends. He got Brett Ring Pops. It was Keegan's that really got me though. I never realized how much CJ sounds like me until I read his card to Keegan (okay, that and his FL post on FB sounded like me, the way he kept using the word AMAZING! heheheheh). He got Keegan baseball cards. On the card that CJ made him he wrote "Thank you for being one of the best friends ever. Your friend, CJ" That doesn't sound like much to you maybe, but I had nothing to do with any of it. He bought the gifts when he was with my mom or Cullen, and I wasn't paying any attention when he made the card because I didn't WANT to be a part of it. Now I feel sad that Keegan doesn't know about it, but CJ said he feels like it's too late to bring Christmas gifts to school, so I unwrapped them.

Keegan's parents are going through a messy divorce. There are 3 boys, Keegan's in the middle, and he is your typical really, really well behaved middle child. I really REALLY adore him. And seeing how the divorce is affecting him has reminded me of WHY people choose to stay together for the kids. It's really hard on him. I don't know if it would be any less hard if his parents weren't fighting so much about everything, and i don't know what the fights are about. Abuse? Infidelity? Resentment built up? Work? Money? I don't know, but it's sad to see. Keegan is SO cute though, and such a good boy. At the VIP for CJ, Keegan and he were sitting next to one another. CJ hadn't seen me, but they saw my mom on her way to the house WAY early in the morning, so they knew SOMEONE got it, and Julia already had, so it had to be either Josh or CJ. Keegan eventually spotted me first and he whispers to CJ, after the 2nd grade VIPs were given out and Josh wasn't called "Uh- oh....I think I'm sitting next to the VIP!" Isn't that cute? I love that kid.

I should write a book. That would help me use up my imagination and my words and save you guys the time that you spend reading a bunch of blah blah blah. The problem is is that I would have to do it "on my own". Cullen wouldn't want to read it because he's even more jealous of my imagination than he is of everyone in real life. He imagines-- not completely incorrectly, that I'm recalling something I've felt or experienced in some of the things I write. I kick ASS at poetry, did you know that? KICK ASS at it, but I am not allowed to write it. The one time he found some and read through it, he was down and out for weeks, thinking about who I was writing about and what things spurred me to say such things. I don't know if it's worth him feeling like I'm keeping something from him, to write or not. Can you imagine if he read this blog????? He hates that I have it anyway, but he doesn't read it- so he wonders what's in here that he doesn't know about. He will make himself crazy some day that way, possibly. Would me writing push him over the edge? Is it wrong to write a book in secret????

Caiden is always sick. Kimmy says he was fine for the 5 days that he wasn't here. Must be his brand new weak ass immune system or something because none of us are sick. *SIGH*

End of blah blah blah.