Well, one thing is for sure- I do love my pain meds.
Yesterday started out fairly normal. I had a tummy ache- one which is familiar and NOW I KNOW WHY- but it wasn't dibilitating. I carried on. Once we got home from the Winter Olympics, it was a little worse, but again, I was okay. Then the backache kicked in. Sons of bitches, people- the backache! It reminded me immediately of labor. I haven't felt a backache like that since giving birth a few times. Nothing relieved it, nothing made it better. I take it back...the hot bath Cullen made me helped temporairily.
It wasn't too long before it became unbearable. But I couldn't stand the thought of going in and being told that I had a massive poo up in there, ya know? So I paced, and moaned, and made Cullen rub my back- just like labor. The pain never left my upper abdomen. When it neared midnight and I was miserable out of my mind, shaking from the pain, and it hadn't moved down (indicating a digestive issue), and the food hadn't made me immediately puke (I vomited from PAIN. I'm a TOUGH GIRL! This HURT!)...I had to make a decision. Cullen could wake all 4 kids up and take me in, or I could somehow drive myself. I had no idea how I would do it, but I did do it. 12:30am. I drove to the ER.
They were so sweet to me there. I was barely able to function and the darling RN who admitted me called it right away.
It took another 1.5 hours to get the morphine that I so desperately wanted. I even considered letting myself pass out from the pain. I mean, I had to FOCUS not to. STUPID. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! GOD I LOVE MORPHINE. She hit me with the Tordahl and 2 hits of morphine to make sure I could lay still for the ultrasound.
STUPID GALLSTONE!
STUPID!
I'm trying to donate a kidney!
STUPID GALLSTONE!
So, I have 2 appts on Wed. One in the am for a consult with the surgeon, just to learn all I can. It's laprascopic surgery also. It would be awesome if they could do both at the same time. I am not sure how fast I need to have it, but what I do know is that I DO NOT WANT TO FEEL THAT AGAIN. EVER. I have another prescription for vicodin (YIPPPEEE!!!) but dude. That was horrid. We'll see if diet controls it, I guess. My 2nd appt is right after that for my hep b testing for the kidney donation to see if I'm still all clear. When I know more, then I'll call the transplant center to update them. I hope they don't think I'm a mess.
The van is still at the hospital, bless my sisters heart for picking me up at 3:30am. Cullen and I need to go get it. I'm so tired. I don't want to be working but I have to because Angie can't yet.
But it's all good. Enough caffeine and I'll be okay.
I'm scared out of my pants to eat though. I don't think you understand how scared I am. My tummy hurts just a little bit right now, and I'm terrified.
TERRIFIED.
TERRIFIED.
TERRIFIED.
I should eat something now and figure out what's going to happen.
Hold me. I'm gonna do it. Cereal and milk. HOLD ME!
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