My Jen.
Boy did she carry me through some of the hardest times of my life.
When I think back on highschool, and hanging out with her, I feel nothing but GLAD that I had her. That was such a horrible time for me, and here was this precious girl who feels things as big as I do, who could really reach my soul, and understand. It was the most comforting thing ever to me, to know someone else who feels this big. Esp in highschool, when everything is so superficial and full of crap...to have another person there. If she judged me, I to this day don't know it. I know that she cried for me, but didn't judge me.
We lost contact when I got married. I failed her in a big way then. I am so sorry that I did that. I didn't know what else to do. I was fresh out of an eating disorder, and seeing her plummeting into one...I felt lost, and I hurt my friend. Yet here we are again!
Here we are! I am the luckiest ever! I have Jen back, and if that wasn't good enough, I have her husband now too! And I get to watch her grow into a mother, which is the most beautiful thing ever. I have never wanted to "help" someone so much. I want to reassure her a hundred times over that all of this "non normalcy" will go away with time. That she will feel like herself again, in time. That she is going to truly be a wonderful mother and that her fears are normal, but that they aren't based on anything that is going to really happen. It's hard to know that inside her head, she is worrying, while I already can see clearly that she's going to fall head over heels so hard her head is going to spin. I am SO HAPPY that we are together again. She's the ONLY person who tells me that I calm them. ME! I CALM someone down! Can you even imagine? I love her deep feeling soul. I would pet it like a kitty and snuggle it close if I could.
Thank you for being my friend!!!!
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