It's like my brain gets constipated, and now I'm pooping it all out.
I have to tell you about one of my favorite Christmas memories.
It's a recent one, from 2 years ago.
Two years ago, we were still in a shitty place. A really, really crappy place. Cullen had JUST started working after being unemployed for 2 years. We literally just had NOTHING. I don't mean we were "broke" but went on vacation anyway. I don't mean we were "broke" but shopped til we dropped and charged everything. I mean- BROKE as in there is just no money. And Christmas was coming.
We've been helped in years passed. THANK GOD we were helped. We were helped by my sister, we were helped by Cullen's sister, brothers, my parents and 2 years ago it was his mom and dad. I will never be able to thank everyone enough for the times we were helped when we were desperately needing it.
Josh, who is a type A personality- he'll be an engineer when he grows up- had his sights set on a train. It's the only thing he said he wanted for Christmas from Santa. A train set.
There was a kick ass train set at Toys R Us that my father in law had seen. He wanted to bring me there to see if I thought that Josh would like it. Of course, it was FANTASTIC. It was $50.00. I, of course, had no money at all (ever have to borrow gas money? Or money for diapers? Food? It's fun.), but his dad really wanted to get this for Josh, from Santa. I knew Josh would love it, and I was thankful that he could receive a gift that he asked for from Santa. That wasn't the only gift that his parents bought for us to give to the kids, but OH, it was probably the most important one.
When Christmas morning came, by the miracle of love, there were gifts underneath the tree for the kids to open. In fact, they had a pretty darn good Christmas, despite our brokeness. We handed out some gifts to them, and I will never in my life forget what happened when Josh opened that train set.
He had ripped one piece of the paper off, and saw what was inside. It was still mostly wrapped, and he LOST HIS MIND with excitement. He jumped up, and kept jumping, pointing, mouth open, but no words coming out. He couldn't even SPEAK. He couldn't yell, he couldn't scream his joy, he was SPEECHLESS. I teared up watching him, sooooo thankful that it was bought for him. When he finally ALMOST got a grip, he ripped the rest of the paper off and finally words came to him, and he yelped with so much happiness, that nothing else mattered, for Cullen, Josh or I. Cullen and I...oh, our cups were overflowing watching him fall desperately in love with his new trainset that he'd dreamed about. And Josh..well...he couldn't have cared about opening any other gifts. It was priceless and beautiful and I am so happy I get to keep that memory with me.
That is what I think of when we are buying gifts for other families in need, or giving money anonymously to people who need it, or buying food for the food shelf. We would have been SUNK during Christmas time if someone hadn't loved us enough to help us give the kids what they deserve to have. Every time I do something loving for someone else, it's my way of saying thank you to the world for always being there for us.
Thank you World. Thank you, Love. Thank you, Family. Thank you, Friends. Thank you to all the people who have done something nice for me, for us, that I don't even know about. My heart knows. THANK YOU.
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