It's a poo story. You've been warned.

I haven't gone in DAYS. My diet has been jacked and then I haven't taken my synthroid. That may or may not help the sluggishness, but I was just overwhelmed by The Urge. Oh, the Magical, Fantastical Urge.
I checked the clock. Jordan is due home soon, and the windshield guys are coming. It felt Important, so I thought I could just go in, GO, and be done.
I never learn.
It's been days, which means that the thing I grew was a 2 headed beast. I'm sure of the 2 headed things because it had arms on each end. On the Exit end, the arms were working with me, pushing itself out because for all my pushing, I wasn't getting far enough fast enough. The other set of arms was clearly hanging on for dear life in there.
That's when it happens.
Footsteps coming near the door.
And a knock on the front door.
And that is how I found myself once again begging God to get a shovel and DIG THE POO OUT OF ME. "Please God, I have to go but when I stop pushing nothing happens and I NEED SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."
The door was Jordan coming home, YAY, and the footsteps were Lyla, who then went to go see Jordan instead.
AND, as nature would have it, I did get the rest out. You would honestly stare at me in awe and amazement if you could see what I grow. Then I had a love fest (wipe fest) with Gilbert Grape, who maybe isn't a grape at all. Maybe a kitten? I don't know, but I heard purring as I wipe-itched him. Maybe *I* was purring.
There. Double dog dare me to post that on facebook?
I also go an email regarding the transplant webinar I agreed to. The beauty of not being a kiss ass is that the playing field is even. I have no idea who these people are or how "important" they are in the Big World Where People Are Ranked. He asked if I'd fill out the 2 sheets of paper that all the speakers are being asked to fill out, and if I couldn't think of an "objective" he'd help me out. Either because I'm totally stupid, or else he might figure that I don't understand what this webinar is for.
I choked one out, all the while giggling to myself thinking that they have no idea what a ...I don't know the appropriate way to address myself here...they don't know me. That's all. Poor them, they have no idea what they are dealing with. Good luck getting my head out of the clouds. Hope they aren't expecting some serious girl who finds this Of Massive Importance. I know it IS important, thousands of people will see this and hear this information, transplant patients and it will happen that someone will consider living donation after hearing about it....
That didn't even make sense. The papers seemed very stoic and important and like this is a Big Deal, and they are just going to let me TALK? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That's all.
Have a nice day.