I know what to do with it!

That sounds all kinds of dirty. It's pretty early for my mind to be in the gutter like that, gosh. ;)
Okay, I figured out what to do with the packet of stuff from Mexico that my mom has. In the packet are all the papers from the days we were in the hospital (in spanish), and ultrasound pictures from the morning that we lost the baby. At the time it was alive, and dancing around, bumping me.
I gave it all to my mom because it does what coming across the journal yesterday did to me- when I'm not expecting it, it bites me HARD and I bleed all over again. But what a burden for her. If I just leave it with her there will come a time when I will have to deal with it at some point anyway. If I can find a way to take care of it NOW, it will be DONE. I won't have to worry about finding it again.
But I can't throw it away. I just can't. It DID happen and it WAS horrible, and MY REAL LIFE started after that. That is when I was so hurt and devastated that the world shifted for me. It's when the veil was lifted and I started to see the illusions for what they are, and that there are miracles - MILLIONS of countless miracles in every moment, if we'll see them. WE are miracles. You see? I can't throw away something that was so monumental. But I absolutely can't keep it.
I'm going to bury it. Which one of you brilliant minds thought that up and sent it to me? Thanks for it. It's PERFECT. I will put it in something ....and I will write a letter of apology to anyone who might find it, because unless they are soulless it will make them at the very least sigh about it all, when they see it and find out what it is....and explain what happened, and when, and where, and how it's really okay because I have these four awesome babies now, but couldn't throw it away. Maybe they'll find it in a hundred years. Wouldn't that be something? THEN it could even become VALUABLE!
Maybe no one will ever ever find it, and the Earth and the baby that I couldn't keep will be one together forever.
Whatever is meant to happen will happen.
It's perfect. It just has to go a good solid 8 feet down and we're good. I'm so excited and I feel better already.
The hard part, of course, will be asking my mom for it and then HAVING it in my hands. But it's okay, it's better to be buried with my love and tears anyway, right?
GO ME!