Still thinking...

I know, I wish I could turn it off sometimes too.
First of all, for R- Cullen was /is convinced that no one can see a thing in here as long as the lights are off, but most of the time there's a fire in the fireplace and that's plenty illuminating. He's very sad he can't get me to "relax" in the livingroom anymore. hahahah!

I was thinking more about how I've ended up in this place...I should say "we" because last night I said to Cullen "What else can we get rid of?" and he said "Funny, I was just thinking that same thing!"
I think it's because I've mostly stopped expressing myself by gathering things I like around me/us. Mostly. Like I said, I am a sucker for colorful flowers, candles that smell yummy and inspirational quotes. It's been slow in the coming, but I think that I/we have started to express ourselves through doing instead (I totally typed DONG first. HAHAHAHA!). Putting out, so to speak, instead of taking in. And in return, I keep somehow getting more and more of what I wish for. It's just the whole Thoughts Become Things theory at work, but it's kinda amazing sometimes. I totally understand that most people love to have pretty things surrounding them. It doesn't bother me, I just don't have that same need anymore. And yet MFN can tell you right now, it probably doesn't feel like I've thrown anything out at all when you're here. I DO have 4 kids and do daycare and as I mentioned I'm a smelly whore (candle lover) and flower child.
But now that I've said that, I'm going to go eat and then get rid of all the kitchen pots and pans that never see the light of day. LIKE!
I'm so excited for my willow tree. Poor Cullen. He doesn't know we're about to go on a hunt to buy one. I never see them anywhere. I should go google that.
I'm done for real for now.
*sips partially hydrogenated hazelnut creamer in coffee and feels artery clog just a tiny, tiny bit*