LALALA Last one for the night.

Hi, Jamie. HAHAHHA! I know you're up! I know you're reading me! :)

I did something last night that was really scary for me. REALLY SCARY! I was being impulsive and I had to purge my head, but I didn't do it on here. I kinda wanted to know how what I was purging would be seen so I did send it to someone. Part of it was maybe a dare? "I dare you to read this thing that might make you want to judge me. Would make some people really judge me. Can you take it?" Truly, I'd almost rather take my clothes off than risk The Judgement. But it's always really good when you find someone that you trust enough to LET THEM JUDGE YOU if they are going to. Yes? That's pretty big. Another part of it might have been a little "Will you go through it with me?" When you read or watch something, if you're open, you will inadvertantly experience what you're reading through the person it happened to. It's the magic of us all kinda being the same. The beauty of empathy. It's what bonds us together. Although the things I went through back then OBVIOUSLY affected people around me, everyone around me, I don't recall anyone actually HOLDING *MY* HAND THROUGH IT. And do you know what? It's not too late, turns out. Isn't that weird? To know that someone can feel what you felt and would have made it better if they could ...it still counts, today, a million miles from the time that was. Isn't that magic? The me of me from back then isn't alone, wasn't alone because I shared her with someone now, and they held her hand and hugged her heart.
And THEN, if that weren't a big enough kiss from the world, MFN (my favorite neighbor) completely enlightened me tonight too. Can't you see me glowing from there with my enlightenment????!!! Hi, I'm Nicki! You might not recognize me with my newest brain cells firing away like they are...DUCK! Sorry, sparks flying everywhere!

Wouldn't it be fun if someday all the people we love could see just how much of a difference they make? I think it'd be fun to stand next to my friends and watch their faces as they see how the things they have done and do affect so many more people (in positive ways) than they could even guess. BIG!

YAY for Whose Line Is It Anyway. Funniest show EVER!!!