This is on my mind alot.
Can you imagine if I just stopped there? Cullen would be giving himself high fives, non stop. :P
But I was referring to the kids. The kids and how to deal with sex. I think about it ALOT ALOT, actually. It has already come up, and it has made me think about my ideas about it when I was growing up.
Here is what I'm pretty sure I know for sure:
1. Sex is fun. Most of the time.
2. Kids don't need to be ashamed of their bodies or their responses.
3. They figure out pretty quickly that sex can be fun.
It is easier for me to know what I do NOT believe in. We visited a church one time and the sermon was on young kids and sex and it was the hugest turn off EVER. It was all about guilt, and displeasing God and I wanted to throw up. I emailed him, I was so upset. The last thing teenagers need is another reason to feel guilty and dislike themselves.
I'm pretty sure that kids do whatever they want, regardless of what we want. Didn't you? Didn't you find a way to drink if you wanted to? And it was pretty easy, wasn't it? Didn't you probably have sex without your parents stamp of approval on the time, place and person? They will do it.
SO- my current ideas are that I am being honest with them when they ask questions. Not brutally, overly graphic about it, but they can tell you what sex is. I bring it up every now and then so they will hopefully stop blushing and stammering when it comes up. I just throw it out there when it's just CJ, Josh and I. "SEX!" and they dissolve into giggles. I do it a few more times til they are over it. I'm probably insane, and maybe I'm wrecking them, but I don't want it to be the thing they have to whisper about. I'll be the mom sending them into the bathroom with some "reading" material every 30 minutes when they are 15 or so. HAH!
Another thing that I am doing is I am planting the seed (no pun intended!)--- we discuss how girls are different than boys emotionally. How girls can sometimes feel things bigger than boys do. There is a girl who used to really like CJ. I can remember being young and idolizing boys around me, and I did really feel that way. CJ didn't feel that way about her, and we talked alot about how important it is for him to be kind to her and be her friend anyways, and how important it is for him to be mindful of her feelings. I bring that stuff up as often as I can.
Don't you think if a boy can grow up knowing these things, and sex isn't a whispered about topic, and they don't need to feel guilt over their bodies reactions to the things their bodies will react to. Don't you think if a girl grows up knowing what's in store for her, if she grows up not putting up with crap, if she grows up informed...doesn't she have a better chance of not using sex for the wrong reasons? If they have parents who openly show affection with eachother as well as the kids...
What if I could be the kind of parent that the kid goes to and says "Mom, will you help me get condoms?" Or "mom...I think I want to have sex." Can I be that? Can I handle that without freaking out? Can honesty help them make good choices and keep their self esteem intact? I don't know.
But we'll find out.
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