Isn't he? Did anyone else sigh with relief that I was going to sing his praises, for once? It isn't the first time, but I supose he definitely deserves it. Someone mentioned that maybe some of the things I blab are things that I shouldn't let out. How do people live like that?? I need to get it OUT. Plus, I'd like to think that anyone who reads it can understand just a little bit that this is real life. This is being married for 12 years, with 4 kids, working 3.5 jobs between the two of us, with me being at home juggling everything, all the time. This is what is REAL.
SO, that being said, my Cullen.
Today, funny enough, after me just whining about not being taken care of the same way that I used to be when I was Important. This morning he came home, and went and got gas for me (without my asking), and shovelled so I wouldn't have to. Wasn't that nice? I thought it was. It touched me. Not last night but the night before, when I was sleeping on the couch, he kissed me on the cheek. For some reason he is scared of me after surgery no matter how much I beg for him to be near me, so that was nice.
He loves me. I mean, LOVES me. He always thinks of me. He buys me food that he thinks I'll eat at the store. He dreams of gifts he wants to buy me. He loves spoiling the kids.
A million years ago, when I was in my own personal hell, I dreamed of there being a person out there who I could totally be myself with. That is a tall order. I'm not "normal", I am unconventional in many ways, uncontrollable, and when I'm joyous, everyone knows. Just like when I'm crabby. I'm impulsive and I rather enjoy challenging people's ideas about the world, God, humanity, etc. And I'm not above doing something just because someone says I can't. I dreamed of finding someone that I could be myself with. And I did. He is strangle attuned to me. Little things like me saying he never fills up my car w/gas anymore (he hasn't in years) and then he comes home and does it. Or I think of a food, and it arrives.
And, I hate to say it, and I'll try to reel it in, but there are other avenues in our lives where we're very, very compatible. Rockstars, I have to say.
I do love him. He has the sweetest heart in the world. He is my best friend (when I'm not hating him, hahahaha) and we have fun together. He plays my silly games with me. It's a good thing.
YAY CULLEN. He survives another day. HAHA!
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