1,001 wipes

I started off with barely anything to tell you, in within a 5 minute period I found SO much to tell you that I don't know where to start.

What do you want first? How it just took 1,001 wipes to clean my butt? WTF. I mean, COME ON. This led to the thought that I have noticed that the WORSE I eat, the MORE I need to wipe, and the WORSE in general the experience is - probably not anything you wanted to know, but it's fascinating to me because I'm gallbladderless so I have a mild fascination with how bile works and what happens when healthy food vs shit food is eaten.

THAT led to me needing to tell you to GIVE IT UP for Culvers Chipotle Cheese Curds. HOLY CRAP those things are FANTASTIC. I haven't had anything that good in a long time. They are SPICY and YUMMY and CHEESY and DEEP FRIED nuggets of heaven. Loved every second of them. Hated every second after I ate them. But well worth the self hatred, I must say. Go get yourself some. NOT if you are a spicy wuss though, they do have bite. A bite so fantastic it rivals Edward Cullen's. YUM. Edward, too. NOT THE MOVIES. I don't like RP. If you could see Edward in my head....

THEN from there I considered what I ate at Kimmy's babyshower yesterday, which was 2 brownies and the best cashew chicken salad EVER! FOOD WHORE! I totally scored marrying into this family. I love Cullen's aunts and cousins so much. I had 2 of my favorite cousins sitting on either side of me while the girls were opening gifts, C and I were writing down what each gift was for each girl. B was on the other side- and B is a STITCH. I could just sit and listen to her all day and laugh my head off. She's superbly funny without even meaning to be. Anyway, she was running commentary while I was taking pics of Em, and writing down Kim's gifts (?!). Kim opens a gift and I hear this low growl in my right ear: "SON of a BITCH! I got her the same outfit!" It's probably not nearly as funny to read it, but I almost fell out of my chair giggling at B's quiet outburst.

I got to see Aunt Helen, the wife of Johnny, the inspiration for the kidney donation. I thought I'd feel embarrassed talking about the upcoming surgery, because since these are the sisters of the man who passed away from kidney disease, they kind of think it's amazing that I'm going to do this, but it was okay. I kept reminding them that it's more likely that I'm crazy than amazing. I think it helped that Helen was there. I don't know why I feel like that helped, except that Johnny's loss, of course, affected her day to day life the most, and she's already seen another loss of a friend due to kidney disease, and I don't know. I like not feeling like I'm sitting on the bench just watching stuff happen.

Which then led to (it's amazing how fast our thoughts actually go, all this took place while I was sitting on the potty!) last night when Rick and Tina were over- and I told them when the big Hayes get together is, and Tina acknowledged that they are on vacation that week, then said that they'd "be gone". Rick disagreed. Tina tried again. Finally Rick said "anything not to go, huh." and she said "I'm intimidated." Now, that is a feeling I can understand because it's a HUGE family. I know them better because I'm more social and Cathy and I have taken over getting the Hayeses together since the siblings are getting older now, and Johnny has passed away (it was so important to him that we don't stop the get togethers...with such a big family it would be VERY easy to lose track of everyone and let it go). I told her I'll babysit her there. I wonder if they'll show up. She's struggling- UNDERSTANDABLY- with her dad's death. You should see the garage FULL of her parents stuff that she's going through. GOD that would be so hard, and it is, even for someone as "tough" as she is. I wish I could do anything to help her. My "help" didn't help much but we did get to see them all weekend, and maybe the company helps? I don't know- they've been so busy since he passed away TWO MONTHS AGO (already!!!)- re-doing the kids' rooms, cleaning out the garage and all the stuff.....I'm taking notes. What does it feel like when your mom, dad and sister have all passed away? I want to hug her talking about it.

It's the most all time delicious morning outside! I have all the windows open, letting the yummy breeze in. HAPPY MONDAY! I wish I could hug it!

You would think, since the surgery dates are the 8th, 13th or 14th, that one of these days I HAVE to get a phone call, wouldn't you? Eventually they will HAVE to tell me when I'm going ot have surgery, right? My very little bit of Leo patience is GONE. Seriously. I'm one day away from the patience tank being on empty, completely empty, to the point of me calling them myself to get some freakin details. I NEED TO PLAN, DARNIT! We're almost within 2 weeks of ANY date they've given me. HELLO!! Have a family I need to PLAN FOR!

Rant off. Pancakes and sausage ON! Come and get it!