My Very First Time. (you know you wanna know...)

This is BIG for me! BIG! And perhaps it shouldn't be so big? But it is. And I'm HAPPY AND FREE!

I had a FIRST.

Yesterday Julia, Jordan and I were walking into Cub foods. We were in the entry way between the outer door and the inner door when I very (sorry to judge!) creepy man walked past us. He was a little older , but he didn't look "right"- I noticed that before he even started checking me out. And then he looked at me. And he did not stop looking at me, even as we walked past him. I could see his reflection in the glass doors ahead of us, and he had stopped, turned around and was still looking.

People like him who do things like that make people into victims without even TOUCHING them.

And right then, 2 things ran through my head. The show "What Would You Do?" --- because I'm always a little appalled and what people will sit by and watch (and know that *I* am probably in that category WAY more than I should be!..but not anymore!), and my ghost dreams. I used to get held down in my dreams, but it stopped after years, when I got brave and started yelling at them to LEAVE ME ALONE! And now I can head off a bad dream at will.

So I let the disgust rise until it erupted. And it DID erupt. I YELLED- not said, not asked, not said loudly- I YELLGROWLED "STOP! LOOKING! AT! ME!!!!!!!!!!!!" Julia giggled nervously and said "Are you yelling at me?" and I said, in a perfectly normal tone of voice "No, baby. Not you!" and she wanted to know who, but we just kept walking.

See? that shouldn't be that big of a deal, but I wouldn't have cared who in the world heard it.

It also brings to question where that magical line of what is okay and what isn't lives. And it's different for everyone, for sure.

I don't know. Just remembering him grosses me out.

But I won. GO, ME!