Stupid little birdie.

That stupid little birdie that perched on my desk yesterday had me crying the whole way home. I have been with this company since I WAS A TEENAGER!!!! I've been with MFVP for over a decade! Every single thing that has happened in my adult life has happened while I've been employed here! From beating a eating disorder, to getting married, buying our first house, miscarrying over and over, having 4 kiddos, making best friends, moving some more, having 6 surgeries, 2 of them major, growing in ways unfathomable at the time....EVERYTHING. I have loved big, and grown even more. I'm blessed so much that there are no words for it. That stupid little birdie made me think about it. I cried my whole way home, unstoppable tears of love for the people I love who I'm going to miss. I remember going into MFVP's office on the 5th floor, when I worked in the main building before working for him, and sitting down, to ask questions about things I didn't understand on the logistics side of things. The people i worked with were horrified and amazed that I DARED to do that- everyone is kinda afraid of him or thinks that he's just a bear or something, which is just the furthest thing from the truth. I am missing the gene that clues me in on things like that about people, and I always thought he was a nice guy. (BTW, I'm right and everyone else who thinks differently is wrong). Or how it all went down when I came to work for him, and what amess it was (because I didn't tell the dept that i was leaving the correct way, and it looked like they were "stealing" or "taking" me), and how he had to deal with it and because he really believed in me, he did that. Or how he came over, got down on one knee, took my hand, looked right at me and told me how terribly sorry he was that we lost our 14 week pregnancy in Mexico (they lost their 2 week old son Conner many years ago) ...or how he came into my office with an accordian, shut the door, played and sang while I peed my pants laughing...only to open the door to a bunch of people standing there wondering what the HELL was going on...and there are too too many funny MFVP stories straight from the horses mouth to tell. And he's SMART- engineering smart, but just REAL smart too. I'd trust his judgement on a thing completely even if it was the opposite of what I think. One day I was mouthing off about a situation that I did not understand at all but was involved in...he only heard the tail end of my rant, but in passing reminded me "Ohhhhh but we can't judge...we just can't judge." and I HEARD him. I mean, of course I heard him, but it was EXACTLY what I needed right then, more than ANYTHING. Perfect timing. Oh the things I've learned...
Anyway, remembering just how much of EVERYTHING that has happened while I've been here made me cry, and HOLY SHIT, September 17th is going to be one Very Hard On Nicki Emotionally day. I love referring to Nicki in the 3rd person. Poppycock! I think I just made up another game. :) AR will love it.