If that isn't a catchy title, what the hell is? HAH!
On the way to drop the kids off today (not "those" kids, and it wasn't a pool. Actual children, at the in laws) CJ was noticing all the yard signs for with different people's names on them. He wanted to know why they were there. So we started discussing voting and advertising and all the negative ads on TV right now.
I told them in no certain terms that their jobs will be (and I will help, gag, puke, barf) to research each and every person THOROUGHLY in order to decide who wins their vote. I will, of course, get them into this practice well before they turn 18. I'll start in a few more years when Jordan and Julia will comprehend more what we are doing and why.
It will probably be good for me. Wouldn't it be the funniest ever if I actually end up VOTING?! If THAT is the way that will finally get me to believe in another completely fallible human being who has grand ideas and then will get into office and find out that the system is full of CRAP and that all they can do is TRY, LIE and HIDE? Yes, sadly, that is my perception. And being such, it's all I see. I have never seen a public completely satisfied with anyone or anything that goes on, and we're constantly uncovering the lies, the scandals etc. Why- WHY do I want to involve myself in that? I'd SO MUCH RATHER do a food drive, put together laundry baskets for homeless people moving into their first house...ANYTHING...push out a baseball sized poop that threatens to kill me...ANYTHING other than get involved in the disgusting world of politics. ANYTHING. But...for my kids...they will. They will at least know the process and if they choose not to take part in it, I will know that I have at least armed them with info so they can make that decision.
I'll do the same thing with (gag, puke, sob!) hunting.
THEN CJ said the cutest thing a 9 year old could ever utter. Okay- exaggeration, probably, but I wanted to pull over, tackle him, and then gobble him up. There were construction workers doing something, and Jordan yells out "GOD BLESS YOU!" --- you know, we God Bless everything. Julia said "where?" because usually we're yelling it at police/ambulance/fire trucks. I said "The construction workers! They are on the road and all these people are driving. We're helping keep them safe!" and so there was a chorus of "GOD BLESS YOU!"'s going on. Then CJ goes for my heart and says "Wouldn't it be *funny* if every time we said that, a big heart would surround them and nothing could hurt them ever again?" That would ROCK! I'd include glitter and sparkles in the hearts, but I didn't tell him that. I LOVE that idea. I love that kid! I love my sweet babies!
THEN if all that wasn't enough for a 10 minute ride to Grandma's house, a red tailed fox takes off across the street in front of us. Of course, I'm such a nerd that I was making a big commotion about it, so we went slowly..it crossed in front of us again, and then hung out a long side the car for a good block. It was SO CLOSE! I could almost smell his foxy breath! It stopped to pee, and I could see the pee pee! THANK GOD- CJ has been all about my camera lately, so it was with us and he took picture after picture. He insisted on keeping the camera with him so he can SHOW "EVERYONE" but tomorrow I will upload the pics. It was pretty cool!
And...on to Knowing Too Much. I keep learning about life with one kidney and sometimes I wonder how much info is too much. I now know all about my eGFR vs my mGFR and I don't know if I want to know that. Is that stupid? A part of me just wants the kidney drs to know my numbers and to trust that if there's nothing to be concerned about, then GREAT! I know some knowledge is power- even though it would be "okay" for me to have a drink, I probably just won't. As it is, I know that our kidney function decreases with age anyway, and anything I do on top of that that makes it work harder ...well, at some point, it will make a difference. All the research I've read says that truly, one kidney shouldn't make any difference at ALL- But see, the more I learn, the more I KNOW. I know ! I know! I know that I am thirstier. I know it's swelling to take over for Lefty. I know that a low protein diet would make it easier on my kidney, as well as low sodium. I know if I want to do myself a huge favor, I will work out diligently and stay fit and take GOOD care of myself- ALL THINGS WE SHOULD ALL BE DOING ANYWAY--- but maybe a little more important now? My pre op nurse was quite overweight....my brother in laws friend has only ever had one kidney and NEVER KNEW IT...drank his way through college and did God Knows What Else too...he's 50 now...and JUST found out and he's NEVER had a problem. My niece had one of her kidney's removed when she was 6 months old and she's as normal as can be, drinking caffeinated soda, coffee, sips of beer, and God Know What Else SHE will do as she grows....
AND I WANT TO LIVE IN THAT SPACE. A little bit.
I supose as time goes, and as I get through the initial dr appts where they do labs to see where my kidney function is, I will settle down. We're participating in a long term study and at some point I will feel like that's more of a normal thing and stop thinking about my ONE KIDNEY. Which, of course I will. I am FAR too rational and level headed to be ONE KIDNEY GIRL for very long.
OKAY- one last rant before I stop. This is the most irritating, degrading thing ever. Okay, busted- another exaggeration, but honestly. Tell me this wouldn't irritate you.
Did you know that in November (after I am GONE, GONE, GONE...but they don't know that yet)...EVERYONE IN THE OFFICE except for Phil, Laura, Kelly and I, are going to Chattanooga to PARTY? It's their "leadership conference"....Everyone. Aaron, who works under Jeff C is going (so it's not just a "bosses" thing..which makes me wonder why Phil isn't invited, at the very least). They all talk about how much fun it is, and how good of a time they have. We didn't even get ASKED. This is a small group of people, in a little office away from everyone else, and they have made it really clear who the bottom of the barrel is. I would say NO if I were asked to anyway, but mostly I don't understand how they are leaving Phil out of it. Part of me can understand Kelly and I- someone has to be here to run all of the plans etc...but I'm not going to be here and now Kelly will be doing...EVERYTHING? My phone calls, my EVERYTHING.
I hate to say it...but...in general I feel more loyal to MFVP than to my boss---but this one little thing...well, it makes me feel a little bit better about leaving him. He KNOWS...remember 6 weeks ago...the staff meeting (which, again, although it is a staff meeting, Kelly, Laura, Phil and I are not included)---he left the door open and yelled out "DON'T LET NICKI HEAR..." and the proceeded to talk about the conference. it meant that he didn't care that I heard...is that better than keeping it a secret and letting us find out in November when EVERYONE is gone? Isn't that kinda RUDE? It is, indeed. I shouldn't let it bother me, I won't be here. Right?
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