omigosh, what am I going to wear Tuesday?

Right now, right this very very second, I got VERY VERY NERVOUS. What am I going to wear on Tuesday??? Holy crap.
Holy CRAP.
Why am I crying right now????
UGH.
It's very weird to me because I'm normally your very typical Leo - LOOKIT ME, LOOKIT ME, LOOKIT ME! but in regard to this I feel like "don't look at me! don't look at me!" Isn't that weird?
Let's examine.
These are some big feelings and I'm so sorry that you have to keep hearing about it but I don't want to be the person that no one wants to talk to because this is all she talks about, you know?
Okay- here we go, journey into crazy land. Hold my hand.
I feel nervous for everyone there, I think. I feel nervous for my recipient, for all the recipients there- because I am assuming that they feel some amount of nervousness too. I don't require any thank you's , because I already know they are grateful. Do you know what I mean? I also know that it's a gift to them from me to accept their gratitude. Have you ever thanked someone for something and they brush it off and it ...well, it's RUDE. It's rude to say "oh, it was nothing." NO, whatever it was was SOMETHING, and it's gracious and a gift to the person who is saying thank you to accept their thankfulness. Do I sound completely nuts? it's the caffeine in that big ole peppermint mocha, good LORD! Okay- so I feel nervous for them because honestly, when I put myself in their shoes I just about fall apart. Not that that is how they are feeling, but I doubt they took the news of someone anonymous donating their kidney to them like it was no big deal. I haven't had to look at this part of it, I haven't had anything to do with this part of it. THIS is the part that made me think that I couldn't have donated to someone I know because of the emotional weight of it. It's BIG. My GOD, it's big! Donating wasn't a big deal to me, it was something I could do. I know it's big but it actually gets PERSONAL when you meet the person you donated to! I'm VERY excited about it, but I'm very nervous!
What will I wear??????? *vomit*
What will I say????
What is it like meeting the person you gave an organ to because you love the world?
Will they want to stay in touch? I was told that they want to see pics of the kids. Will I have new friends for life? A new extended family? Will WE, I should say...the kids want to meet them too. And will all the other donors and recipients think I'm out of my mind when I'm crying and thanking them for doing what they did? Will I even be able to talk? One of the donors is from GEORGIA!
OHMYGOD. It's 4 days away.
I've been dreaming about this, and I need to try to enjoy the anticipation because it will be over so fast and there will only be ONE TIME that I get to walk into a room full of the people who helped make this kidney chain happen, and it's going to be a BLAST.
I just don't know what to wear.
AR reminded me that I won't be the only emotional person in there, thank GOD. I keep googling and reading and watching videos of anonymous donors meeting their recipients for the first time, trying to prepare, and I still think there's nothing that can prepare me.
I wonder if all my imaginings are anywhere near what he's like, if it is a HE. I've always imagined him to be older, and very, very, very funny, and I love him INSTANTLY. Fast and furious and for keeps, his whole family, and he ours.
Watch it be a very serious woman instead. HAHAHAHAHAH!
Oh holy moly.
WHAT WILL I WEAR!