Okay- first of all, I'm sure this feeling will pass. It always does. But this world is so stupid, sometimes I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I know that it's all just a "contextual field" in which I can make decisions about what *I* want to change/see, and I get to choose how I see things and what things and what people I affect, but God. It started bad last night, and got worse. And there's TMI in here, so you've been warned.
I could not give a bigger crap LESS about Prince William getting married. But it was on for 30 seconds and I watched it. Then I just got FURIOUS. A 17 year old killed 2 people, and PW got as much air time. I want to know more about this 17 year old. What was that home life like? And was it different now? What do his parents do? Is there a dad? Anyway- PW's fiancee said something about how she can't wait to "help".
SCREW THAT. You need to marry ROYALTY before you can help? NO, you don't. And I'm sure she's a giving, loving person anyway. But do you know what does suck ass? Because we are so STUPID that we care SO MUCH about ROYALTY and other famous people, she WILL be able to help in BIGGER ways because of who she "is" now. Wouldn't it be nice if *I* could show up somewhere and do something for a HUGE amount of people just because I married royalty? And suddenly have all the funds to do it? Cept she will be in the spot light and EXPECTED to be that way, I guess, whereas the rest of us peons do it because we want to, regardless if the world knows what we are doing or not.
Somehow we have BILLIONS of dollars to spend on SPORTS PEOPLE- we pay obscene amounts of money for baseball players, football players- I don't even know where to start there. We put a PRICE on someone's WORTH and that's OKAY with everyone. Then to top it off, we SUPPORT that idea and pay LOTS OF MONEY to watch those people play. Yet we can't find a way to get people off the streets because MORE PEOPLE agree with putting a price on someone's head and watching them play for us, and MORE PEOPLE agree that TO EACH THEIR OWN and SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST. We can't find a way to get food from the haves to the have nots or housing for that matter, or stop the abuse. Stupid world. Thank GOD Prince William is getting married finally so SOMEONE CAN DO SOMETHING about EVERYTHING. Gee, I wonder what she'll wear and what kind of shoes she'll have on. I guarantee you that we are so pathetic that we will have that information. STUPID!.
So- that's what I went to bed with.
See? I don't feel this way all the time. Just sometimes. Normally I love the world so much that Cullen feels like he can't compete with the world (and it's not even a competition!). Normally I want to hug the world and I love snuggling Cullen and everything is outstanding.
But today I want to be somewhere where things make sense. I can't figure the world out today. There's too much crazy and not enough GOOD that I can see.
And it's only 9:05am. The good news is that I have all day long to smooch babies and tickle tummies and cuddle children and maybe I'll remember why this is worth it at all. I'll also drink my yummy coffee and eat my nummy bread and cereal and teach Jordan more letters and get the laundry done and make another yummy dinner and maybe by the end of the day I will feel better. We can only hope.
No comments:
Post a Comment