Yeah, I said it. SEX.
Mom and I had an interesting discussion the other day. This has probably already occured to the rest of you, but in normal Nicki fashion, it's just starting to make sense to me.
This started with MFN's coworker who was volunteering at a women's prison, and the instructions before going- which were to dress down, no perfume, no makeup, etc, because the women would sometimes get a little crazy over a pretty girl.
I thought that was interesting. Is THAT what happens? Lock us up and keep us away from men long enough (if we like men in the first place) and eventually we will be so sex starved that anyone looks good? It seems hard to imagine, but I guess I am not sex starved either.
THEN, I thought about men's prisons and the big joke about Brutus "taking care" of the extra naughty boys that go to jail. That must happen to them too!
THEN! my lightbulb finally went off. All the child abuse in the churches. OMFG. If we'd let these high and mighty needless priests have sex with women (or men, whatever), they'd leave the kids alone! HELLO!
We are CLEARLY sexual beings, and it is only because we are STUPID that we have made that into a "bad" thing. We spend way too much time telling kids to stop touching themselves, and make them ashamed about their bodies and not nearly enough time educating them on just what our cool bodies do and why we feel the way we do. What the hell is wrong with sending an out of control horny 13 year old off to have some alone time? MY GOD. Especially boys...poor babies, looking back I wonder how many boys that were in my class were constantly trying not to think too much or look too hard at...anything at all. We are all just so messed up. The harder we try to repress it, the more it refuses to be repressed. Stupid humans.
Maybe it is just because I was raised Catholic but I have had that thought a long time ago. It is soooo unnatural! And it isn't even in the Bible (I don't think) because I am pretty sure that priests used to have children and then there would be disputes over inheritances and wills and stuff (back when being a priest got you mucho big bucks.)
ReplyDeleteSo I was just looking at this website which talks about it a bit:
http://www.davidmacd.com/catholic/why_priests_cant_marry.htm
And there was an interesting paragraph that talked about there is sex abuse scandals in lots of different denominations, not just stupid non-marrying Catholics-
"Focus on the Family" reported that 21% of Evangelical/Protestant pastors had had inappropriate sexual contact with members of their congregations. Sixty percent (60%) of Evangelical pastors, most of whom are married, have a problem with pornography. In a 1984 study, 76% of pastors knew of another Evangelical pastor who had sexual intercourse with a parishioner. A list of non-Catholic ministers charged in court with sexual abuse is here. The challenge isn't celibacy, it's fidelity, and that is true in every denomination and also in the Catholic Church.
So I don't know what to make about that. I still think that making priests celibate is asking for trouble. On the other hand, in this past year where I have really cut back on dating and sex, I have become a lot more zen and I can see how not having the distraction of a family/significant other could really help priests focus on their spiritual life.
If a priest actually was living "in the spirit" or following Jesus, he wouldn't be doing anything to children. Religion doesn't make people spiritual, obviously, or they wouldn't have these problems.
ReplyDeleteOn masturbation... when people masturbate they find out exactly what they like and they have no need to be patient because they only need to worry about their own pleasures. Once they are with a woman, I think that could pose a problem. He is so used to his own hand, how to move his wrist, where and when to put pressure. Now he has to unlearn all of it and learn patience, learn how to please her and not focus on himself. I can see how it could cause relationship issues. And let's face it, there are many issues in relationships around sex and porn. I know we want to be all politically correct and have a sort of "anything goes" attitude when it comes to our own bodies, but it's also good not to live to serve yourself, which porn and masturbation are very selfish things. That being said, I don't think that we need to tell our children that masturbation is dirty. That causes guilt. Boys/girls/men/women can control some of their sexual impulses, though it is a very difficult thing to do, for me as well. When you want it, alone or with someone, it's hard not do it.
Fidelity is a problem in general in the public...our divorce rate isn't 50% for no reason. And that's just the people who actually get divorced! How many stay for the kids or carry on with others while still married? We are DEFINITELY doing something wrong when it comes to marriage, in general. I'm blown away by that article. I have no idea how children can be sexually appealing to anyone. I supose that's a good thing on my part, but makes me kinda want to throw up- I wonder how many people in my neighborhood find little kids appealing that way?? How many teachers? GROSS. I don't get it. R- I love to hear your thoughts and views. You and I come from two different places where religion/God are concerned. I used to consider myself a Christian though, and your ideas about sex and masturbation are in line with that. I respectfully disagree. There IS a line that could be crossed, with porn, masturbation, sex in general, but I think masturbation is a completely healthy and wonderful way to express ourselves/love ourselves. Especially for teenagers who are at the mercy of enough hormones to render a small country helpless and crazy, I think it's a great outlet. I'd rather have my kids having lots of alone time at 14/15 than out with their friends wondering which girl (or tree hole, or what have you) they can get some relief from. I don't believe in guilt as a form of abstinence (SP!!!). But we have differing core beliefs in general (which is a good and beautiful thing!!!). Thank you both for sharing your thoughts!
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