Weepies

I wonder if this will continue right through til surgery? I wonder where it comes from? With the hysterectomy, it was more understandable. The uterus comes with some emotional baggage often, and it sure did with me. The babies that made it and the ones who didn't all started there, you know? I was surprised after the surgery that all of those feelings were gone and I will tell everyone I know that that was the best surgery ever. i don't miss my period even a little bit. LOVE IT.

But I'm weepy. Over commercials, happy and sad, at TV shows, when I think about this surgery, I cry happy love tears. FINALLY.
I have had 2 surgeries to "take care of myself" so I could do this one. I woke up from the gall bladder surgery with tears, knowing that that was the last surgery I had to have before the kidney one.

Fargo just called me. The nurse from Fargo actually was in MN yesterday and happened to drive by my work. Isn't that funny?!? Anyway, the 13th is on. He asked, and he's hinted at this before, but outright ASKED this time, and asked me to pretty please be as honest as I could about it, if I would want to meet the recipient. The recipient ("he") wants to meet me for sure. Why does THAT make me cry? it makes me cry, cry, cry. Then Aaron just told me about when he was at the Mayo with his dad, he was sitting where he could see the Gift Of Hope house, where transplant patients stay. He saw some reunions and said that it was "pretty deep" to watch, which makes my love tears even bigger. I remember watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and a man who donated his bone marrow and saved a woman who had leukemia's life was on...she didn't know he was coming, and the whole way there he was crying, crying, crying and I remember thinking that it was interesting that *HE* was so emotional about it. Now I think I get why. It's one thing to KNOW that you're doing something big that is going to change the world for someone, but to EXPERIENCE it by meeting them, and SEEING what you've done....BIG FAT LOVE TEARS. And it's slightly embarrassing too. I know- I LOVE attention, but THAT attention is different. That attention is slightly embarrassing.

YOWSA.

And so I'm weepy. I remember this feeling too after losing babies...colors were a little brighter, I loved the people around me a little more--- I mean, loved them til I was crying with gratitude, feeling every little nice thing that anyone does bigger than normal.
And it's good. It's a very good thing. Shine on, me! Cullen said he'll love me right through the weepies. Can't you hardly wait til I get to wake up from the surgery? I get to wake up and know that after all this time, all this waiting, and testing, and hoping, and praying...finally, I will have gotten to give of myself in a big way. YAY.