What I love...

1. I loved it last night when dad laid Jordan down, who was passed out, in bed. The only thing recognizeable about him was the blonde hair. Other than that, my darling was dirty dirty from his head to his dirty little feet. He was out like a light, and was the picture of a "FUN" day. He smelled like a bonfire and had sticky marshmallow around his mouth. It was awesome.

2. I love that after 25 minutes of Julia wailing and kicking, saying rude things (it was funny..."MOM! I DON'T LIKE YOUR PONY TAIL ANYMORE, OR YOUR HAIR, OR YOUR COMPUTER, OR YOUR COUCH, OR THIS HOUSE, OR OUR NEW ONE!!!") I completely stopped her in her tracks after she yelled "I WANT TO BREAK EVERYTHING!" because I so know that feeling. I looked at her and said "Oh, honey, I know that feeling too. It's hard to feel that way. Can you please come over here so I can snuggle you?" and bam! Crying, off. She came over and sobbed quietly in my arms for a minute before pulling herself together. Then it was over. Good God, help me during teen years.

3. I know that right now, even as I'm sad and mad and feeling let down, I know that I am loved by so many people and that I have friends who really, really care about me and hold me up and send me love and healing light, and it truly works and helps. Love floats me.

4. I ate some really yummy string cheese.

5. I have a vivid imagination and I'm USING IT. I'm imagining fish tacos from Doolittles, and boneless wings from Applebees and a burger from My Sisters Place. And I'm imagining laying on a beach far away where nothing matters and I have no responsibility to anyone at all. And then I'm in Africa silently watching some Lions. They know I'm there and it doesn't matter at all to them. I'm gliding over pyramids, I'm in the rainforest. I can be anywhere. I am EVERYWHERE!

6. I love Music Box Dancer. It makes me remember something from some other time.

7. I love Big Band and Swing. I'm a big flippin dork. I know it.

8. I love laughing my head off. Funny people are the best.

9. I love that my house is almost quiet and I'm going to go nap and stop bleeding.

10. I love food places that deliver.

11. I love the wedding I'm going to October 3rd. I dearly, dearly love the people getting married.

12. I love rocks. They are so old, it would be incredible to find out history of even one.

13. I love the Science Museum.

14. tee hee. I love the pineapple and feta cheese pizza I'm ordering for the low, low price of $7.99.

15. I love the delivery person that will bring it.

16. I love my mom and dad and the way they make me feel like I'm not a pain in the butt when I need help.

17. I love that someday I'm going to be the world's all time best support for someone I know who will have major surgery. I'm excited to give them that gift now that I know what it's like.

18. I love that I believe that love transcends everything and anything. It gets me through...everything.

19. I love that I get to be ME at work and that I'm honored for being me.

20. I'm pretty much a spoiled brat and I enjoy every second of it. I think the key is my honest to goodness gratitude over it.

21. I give as good as I get.

22. I love Kelly. She just put my pizza in the oven. :)

23. I love new houses and moving in and making it home for my babies.

24. I love that Cullen adores me. I know he didn't mean to hurt me or let me down by telling me how tiring and hard this time has been for him. I still want to kick him in the pants though.

25. I celebrate when people pass away. Maybe that isn't politically correct to say. We're taught to feel sad and mourn, and it's okay to do that. And necessary even. I haven't had to let go of anyone who is tremendously close to me yet. It's coming though. I will cry for me and celebrate for her.

26. I love how flexible I have learned to be, and to assume that everything is happening as it should, that we can't go wrong and that everything will be okay in the end.

27. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Pizza is done baking and is in the box! YUMMMMMY!!!

28. I love that I'm going to eat finally, and then I'm going to sleep.

29. I love Stone Sour's Through Glass. Gee, this could get long if I start naming every song I love. Bet it'd kill the rest of the time til the pizza gets here. Hm. There are too many. But Chocolate and Crack The Shutters by Snow Patrol are good too. And so is Disappear and Not Enough Time by INXS. And Leather and Lace, Hold Me and I Wanna Be With You Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac/what's her name Stevie Nicks. And Making Love Out Of Nothing At All, and Take A Picture and Rain King. And In Your Eyes and Misled by Kook and the Gang and Critcize by...someone. And Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush and Joey by Concrete Blonde. Slide and Stay With You by the Goo Goo Dolls and Poor Little Fool by Ricky Nelson, and Somewhere Over The Rainbow, I'm Going Down by Bruce, my boyfriend (hehe), (WHERE IS MY PIZZA!), Lovestruck by VFactory (haha, pathetic, I know), Independence Day by Martina McBride, Some Fools Never Learn and The Weekend by Steve Wariner, The Gambler by Kenny, This List Will Never End...8 Days A Week (Beatles), Burning Love (Elvis) Little Less Conversation (Elvis) Shake It (Metro Station), Tide Is High (Blondie), Holiday by The Other Ones...

Maybe we should do lyrics because really, how boring to read. Make no mistake, that was 1/10000 of the songs I love deep down inside me. I'm a DORK!

In Your Eyes

Accepting all I've done and said
I want to stand and stare again
'Til there's nothing left out, oh whoa whoa
It remains there in your eyes
Whatever comes and goes
I will hear your silent call
And I will touch this tender wall
'Til I know I'm home again,
oh (In your eyes) In your eyes
(In your eyes) In your eyes
(In your eyes) In your eyes
Love, I get so lost, sometimes
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
When I want to run away
I drive off in my car
But whichever way I go,
I come back to the place you are
And all my instincts,
they return
And the grand facade,
so soon will burn
Without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes, the light, the heat
In your eyes I am complete
In your eyes, the resolution
Of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes,
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
Love, I don't like to see so much pain
So much wasted
and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard
for our survival
I look to the time with you
to keep me awake and alive
And all my instincts,
they return
And the grand facade,
so soon will burn
Without a noise,
without my pride
I reach out from the inside
In your eyes,
the light, the heat
In your eyes
I am complete
In your eyes I see the doorway
To a thousand churches
In your eyes, the resolution
Of all the fruitless searches
In your eyes,
I see the light and the heat
In your eyes
Oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
The heat I see in your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
Accepting all I've done and said
I want to stand and stare again '
Til there's nothing left out, oh whoa whoa
It remains there in your eyes
Whatever comes and goes
Oh, it's in your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
In your eyes
I want to stand and stare again
Oh, it's in your eyes


If you look at the word EYES enough, it starts to get all crazy.

AH-HA!! Kevin, my new boyfriend, is bringing his girlfriend some NUM NUMS!!!!!!!! I'm so excited to eat. I haven't felt this hungry in a long time. Maybe my appetite is returning! He's leaving there in a minute, and I will be SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM!!!! YAY ME!!!!

Okay.
So, one last thing. I'm desperately needing some affection. I mean, it's pathetic how much I need it. It's the one thing (By the way, that's another great song from INXS!) that I do actually REQUIRE, and Cullen practically doesn't live here anymore. He's very, very happy to give me affection tonight. I'm mad at him on the inside, but the outside wants some snuggles. Isn't that a weird place to be?

The End. COME ON, KEVIN!